Is Your Marriage in Trouble: Tips to Help You Get Your Marriage “In Repair,” Part Two

July 23, 2013 by Gary Davis  
Published in Marriage

Here is the conclusion of this most important topic.

This is the second and conclusive part of this article.

Never accuse; always take the high road in discussions. It is important to keep the communication on a problem-solving basis. Unless your spouse has done something terrible, let the ghosts of the past rest in peace; go forward.

It is extremely important to listen. It isn’t only important to hear what is said, but, what isn’t said. It is important to ask questions. That is something I do precious little of, and, it can hurt. When I do it, communication and interaction become much easier.

Probably the single most valuable thing my wife and I did was to make a list of why we first fell in love with one another. Next, we made a list of why we married our mate. Finally, we made a list of what we loved about each other currently. This exercise alone did a lot to break down walls that had built up over time. It is amazing what you forget about your own romance over time.

It is very valuable to go on a weekend retreat with other couples. Typically you get to talk to other couples about the problems they are facing; you often have a mentor; and, best of all, you get to have “alone time”.

If you can’t find a weekend seminar within a realistic time frame, just get away for a weekend at a hotel. Part of the problem, it seems, is that we don’t spend time with one another.

It is important to honestly share with your spouse why you may feel estranged or “left out” of the marriage.

Far and away the problems most of us face are that of both time and attention. Many of us think the marriage is just going to “take care of itself”. The facts are that we change as people. We aren’t the same people at forty that we were at twenty. Children come in and out of our life; so does extended family. We may lose parents. We may not do a good job of telling the other one when we’re hurting; finances can bring a couple to their knees.

There are so many problems than can occur in a marriage it is no wonder that there is a presence of tension and closeness escapes us so easily.

There are great ways to work on our marriage. This investment gives us the opportunity to rediscover how wonderful and precious our marriage is.

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