Infidelity

Almost all ,if not, every  married couple who since their wedding day, took the courage and vowed never to cheat on their partners, agree unilaterally that referring to infidelity as simply  “engaging in an extra marital affair”, is ridiculous, un acceptable and shameful

 To many of them, this pronouncement sounds more like a justification to promote infidelity.

It is probably for the same wrong reason that most couples often take up those cautiously calculated decisions to sleep around with multiple partners- with false hope that they will never be caught pants down by their beloved partners.

Like most cowards, all a cheater can afford, is to bury his/her head in the sand and dwell in pretence that all is well. After which he/she proceeds suppress his/her conscience and engages in this sinful act.

 To him/her, there is nothing wrong with sleeping around with someone else other than his/her partner, for as long as the other partner does not get wind of it.

44 year old Kasim- a trader in Kikuubo has been married to his “beloved” 32 year old Zaitun (not her real name) for twelve years. Although the seemingly happy couple of two sons and one beautiful daughter appear to have had no infidelity-related problems, Kasim admits having cheated on his wife countless times without being caught.

But, be warned .Like any other evil act, infidelity is always rewarded with an evil currency which painfully comes with devastating consequences.

The euphemism of referring to infidelity as merely “engaging in extra marital affairs” erroneously creates this false heroism in you which consequently has a counter productive effect that ultimately lands most married couples into that deep sea of shame.

Take for example, the case of Paul Kagindo (not his real name).The revelation that his 28 years of marriage to his beautiful Anna had hit a snag because of her infidelity, came as a rude shock to him, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

Why? The answer is simple. Paul was (and probably still is) no stranger to philandering with a long chain of other lustful women. He was no saint to this dangerous practice of negotiating his lustrous way around in order fulfill his extra marital obligations.

But when he got beaten at his own game, he realized how painful and dangerous his practice really is. The more he rebuked his adulterous wife, the guiltier and more shameful he became. He also lacked the courage to tell her how unfaithful he had also been towards her. Only that he was too lucky to be caught.  

Having an extra marital affair is not as safe a practice as most of you (engaged in the practice) would like others to believe .Infidelity can only be safe  if you do not get caught and if you practice safe sex, that is.

 However, should you by any evil chance fail to practice safe sex, you stand that open embarrassment of bringing forth that unwanted out-of-wedlock child who will certainly cause a huge rift between you and your beloved spouse.

If you get caught cheating, your marriage will certainly be anything but disaster. The sight of being caught pants down is such a filthy reality that temporarily compels you to sweep the whole experience under the carpet, but will continuously haunt you through out your life

You might, for some reason or another boast around as Mr. Casanova, who is so smart that none of your victims will ever find out that you have shamelessly been sleeping around with every Jane, Juliet and Sharon.

 But have you ever thought about the pain and trauma that that pandemic sexually transmitted disease will expose especially when you ignorantly spread it like a bush fire?

Acquiring and Spreading that sexually transmitted disease to yourself and your spouse might be some simple issue to deal with. After all, it is possible to accuse your spouse as the culprit who might have infected you.

 But have you also figured out the rage that comes along with the difficulty to sort out a few issues which your jealous spouse may demand and is perhaps legitimately entitled to know –especially when he/she finds out that you have been unfaithful to him/her?

There is no more shameful situation than that critical question time when your beloved wife/husband looks you directly in the face and asks how many times you have had sex with the other partner. It sucks

 Similarly, there are other intricate questions that may sound so vulgar that you wouldn’t really feel comfortable enough to answer. For instance, there is this one million dollar question that most cheaters literary feel like jumping out of there skins when put to task to answer by their beloved partners

“Honey, is she/he better than me? What is that extra ordinary quality she/he possesses that I lack so I may live up to your expectations?

 Of course, being caught cheating can also lead to divorce, which can result in loss of the companionship of your spouse, the loss of many of your material possessions, and even loss of the right to live with your children. Ouch – not sounding so safe now, is it?

The End