How to Live Well with The Third Party in Marriage Part Two

January 9, 2013 by Uzoma  
Published in Marriage

Marriage as instituted by God says it should consist of one man and woman, who outside the control of others will start up their own family. Is this absolutely true?

How to Live Well with the Third Party in Marriage Part Two

(Started in Part One)

Who are the people that constitute the third party in marriage? They are in the following categories.

1.      Parents of the couple

2.      Brothers and Sisters of the couple

3.      Uncles and Aunties of the couple

4.      Friends and Colleagues of the couple

5.      Members of the church where the couple worship

6.      Any other person that they come across or associate with. 

The people mentioned above are classified as third party in the marriage of any couple. They are people the couple come across on daily basis and cannot avoid them. However, be that as it may, they still have a choice to decide on how to cope with what may be termed ‘interference’. These are some suggested practical ways to cope with the third party in any marriage.

1. Agree on what you want in your family before wedding. This should be during courtship and finalized during honeymoon. This should be done in agreement with proper consideration of the parties involved. You should write them down and review them periodically to suit your present situation.

2. Do not go against what you had agreed on earlier except it has been constitutionally amended.

3. You should discuss with your parents the number of your siblings that you can cater for whether living with you or not. This should be considered based on your income.

4. Include your people in your budget according to your income not at the detriment of your immediate home.

5. When parents, relations and other people make demands far above what you have, be bold with love and humility to tell them that you cannot meet their demand. Many couples hurt themselves because they want to please everybody. This is not and never possible. You cannot please everybody. No matter how much you try, there are some that will still say you did nothing. Remember what I said earlier that “if your priorities do not get scheduled into your planner, other people’s priorities will get into your planner.”

6. Always apply discretion and wisdom when they give you counsel especially from colleagues, friends or associates.

7. Do not go above your means to please the third party. For example, some parents put pressure on their children that their mates now own cars and they should do something to get theirs. Some due to such pressure or just to please friends go and borrow money to buy a car so that they could be counted as people who ‘belong’. This is complete absurdity. Do it when it is essential and not because of the pressure from third party.

(Concluded in part three)

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