How to Live Well with The Third Party in Marriage Part Three

January 9, 2013 by Uzoma  
Published in Marriage

Marriage as instituted by God says it should consist of one man and woman, who outside the control of others will start up their own family. Is this absolutely true?

How to Live Well with the Third Party in Marriage Part Three

(Continued from Part one and two)

8. Do not discuss your spouse with them. They may seem to love you but at the end you will find out that all those who open teeth with you are not all friends.

9. Do not go to them regularly for counsel as if you cannot take your own decisions or settle issues on your own.

10. When any of your family members comes to beg for any assistant, do not allow them to make their request when your spouse is not there. Let their request be made when both of you are there. Better still, if any of the man’s relation wants anything, such should better go to the wife and vice versa. I have a friend whose wife told me that the relations of her husband do not come to the husband for anything. Rather they come to her. This is the right procedure to avoid misunderstanding and misconception.

 11. Be prayerful when you come in contact with them. Always ask God for wisdom and discretion to handle them so that you will not take any wrong decision.

12. Do not deal with any third party outside your spouse on matters that affect your family. Both of you should be involved.

13. Do not tell them what happens between you and your spouse especially when you have misunderstanding. They may later use it to gossip about you and taunt you. Just beware.

Couples should beware of friends they keep. Friends can make or mar your marriage. We cannot say it all here but in a situation where people you seem to confide in turn their backs and stab you or become wolves that want to devour you, what then can you do than to be careful about whom you befriend. This warning is important to the women because most of their friends are usually their cause of downfall.

There was this Nigerian movie where a lady went and told the husband of her friend that his wife flirts about with men. Two of the ladies were bankers in the movie. What she was doing and her married friend was rebuking her was what her friend use as allegation against her. The man believed the story and sent the wife packing out of her matrimonial home. Though the man later found out the truth about the story, but the woman had suffered for some time. Who do you have as a friend? Jesus knowing His people did not entrust Himself to them, neither did He make them friends and allies. This should be your guiding wisdom as you associate with people.        

There are some other points that you may add to this for this work is not comprehensive enough on this matter but a guide. What you should note is that every human being needs wisdom and discretion to cope with fellow human being. Human beings are complex in nature. You cannot completely understand man. Therefore, be ‘wise as serpent and as harmless as a dove’. The peace and unity of your home should be uppermost in all that you do.

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