How Simple Mathematics Help Us to Consider Where The Values of a Marriage Lies?

January 2, 2012 by Ori Sonata  
Published in Marriage

From a simple test done by the author, it seems that some people makes wrong assumption when considering where the value of their marriage lies. A simple mathematics equation is here to help.

Months ago, I posted the following status update in facebook “Money is the thing that allow men to have sex with anything he want, marriage is the thing that allows a woman to have claim over the money of a man while refusing to have sex with him and a claim to his life if he uses his money to have sex with other woman who is willing to do so.”

My motivation behind this status update is no more than to post a joke. Just like any other offensive jokes though, I already predicted that some would get the joke, while others would get the offense. What surprised me though, is the fact that some people who I always respected, belongs to the category of the people got the offence. Thus as a responsible adult who think it is preferable to keep his relationship with the offended parties, I have to come up with a justification for my act of offending.

When trying to come up with the required justification though, I realized that the offensive joke is actually some kind of a brain teaser that could be used to examine something important in our relationship with our spouse. Specifically, where is the value of a marriage actually resides?

It turns out that most of the value of a marriage rarely resides within the concept of marriage itself. The concept of marriage is actually something that value so negatively, that most of us would not consider having one, except if we can find someone that could contribute positively to the entire equation. By stating “concept of marriage have negative value” here, I compare the benefit one could gain from the concept of marriage to those we gained by being single.

If the concept of marriage is something that has positive value over being single, we would not mind to get married to anyone or anything. We would see men proposing to the first woman they see on the street and the woman will simply accept the first man who proposes to them. That is of course not what we observe in real world. In fact most of us would consider that scenario as totally ridiculous.

 People in real world actually behave according to the following equation:


The meaning of the equation is very simple. Since vM is always less than vS, we would require a partner who can provide vP, as such that the value of the specific marriage possibility being considered is greater than the value of being single to make us consider said marriage as a better option.

So rather than appreciating the fact that you are married, I would suggest that you put more of that appreciation in the person you are married to. They are what makes your marriage worth it.

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