How Divorced Women Can Bounce Back and Beat The Odds
May 30, 2008 by Anne Mathews
Published in Marriage
When women divorce, the odds are stacked against them for economic survival. While divorced men are found to rebound and regain the divorce losses, women traditionally are held back by divorce and never recover from the financial devastation. How can you break out of the statistical dead-end?
Chart your own course. If being on your own is a new and scary proposition, then this is the time to get excited about all the possibilities ahead of you. Will you move to a different town or city? Will you return to school? Will you start your own business? Will you keep your house or buy a condo instead? How do you want to live? Who do you want to spend time with? Maybe for the first time in your life you are able to ask yourself these questions and make decisions based upon your dreams and desires, not someone else’s.
Unclutter your life. A divorce is a good time to unload excessive “stuff” you’ve accumulated throughout the years. Simplify the way you live and you’ll spend less time cleaning up, organizing the clutter and that stifling feeling of not having enough space. More than likely, you have enough space. Get rid of things you don’t love or don’t use. Your local mission or women’s shelter may have a person who really needs much of what you are storing in closets, shelves and under beds. Start your new life free of the past.
Maintain a strong support network. You need family and friends especially during and after a divorce. You’ll need people you can rely on in a pinch for help around the house or in emergencies or for help with the kiddos. Make sure your relationships are reciprocal – don’t be a drain on people. Yet also don’t be afraid to ask your people for what you need. They want to help, they just need to know how.
Pay your attorney. Make sure of this no matter what it takes to get it done. Your attorney did a job for you at the worst time in your life and deserves to be paid. Don’t burn this bridge. In the future when you need legal advice or help to enforce provisions of the decree, you will want to know that you can contact your attorney at any point and that they will be more than happy to step up again and fight for you. No one wants to fight for someone who didn’t follow through on an obligation.
Keep the faith. Whatever faith or belief system you have, this is not the time to lose it. Step out of yourself and look for others in need when your own problems seem to be too much to handle. It’ll give you better perspective when you need it most.
These ideas will help any divorced woman start fresh, have a better outlook on her future and begin planning for an exciting life. You can beat the statistics by planning to succeed and not accepting anything less for you or your children.
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July 5th, 2008 at 1:47 am
After over 20 years of being verbally and physically abused, I finally feel happy. I can laugh and realize that he had the problem not me. My counselor is GREAT in helping me through this period in my life. I’m returning to school, I paid “our” bills that he wouldn’t pay. I’m paying medical bills that “we” owed,plus medical bills that I incurred since the divorce on my own. That has given me a feeling of self-worth! Our child is adjusting. My-ex remarried. That’s not me I want to live life and enjoy life for once, just as your article stated. It’s been VERY difficult, but I have learned to be strong and keep on going. I’ll make it!