How Divorced Women Can Bounce Back and Beat The Odds

How Divorced Women Can Bounce Back and Beat the Odds
When women divorce, the odds are stacked against them for economic survival. While divorced men are found to rebound and regain the divorce losses, women traditionally are held back by divorce and never recover from the financial devastation. How can you break out of the statistical dead-end?

Take advantage of therapy. This is imperative if a woman wants to regain her sense of self and ensure that she won’t make the same mistakes repeatedly. Getting short-term counseling to adjust to unmarried life, learn to guard against typical communication mistakes and grow into a fully independent person is key to future success.

Master personal finance basics. The goal here is to get a quick education on how to manage your own money, make simple investments and follow a budget that makes sense with your lifestyle, goals and family situation. You don’t need to run out a get an MBA (unless you want to!), but if you’ve never managed money before, this is the time to learn.

Make friends with other successful and divorced people. Like attracts like, so make every effort to enlarge your social circle with people who know how to be successful, are making things happen in their lives that are positive and especially divorced people that you have interests in common with. These connections will prove to be valuable and inspiring.

Steer clear of bitter friends and depressed people. There will always be those people in your life and circle of friends who bring you down about life and especially about your divorce. Every time you see them they will recount how sad it is that marriages fail and they’ll only make you feel miserable. Limit the time you spend with these people. You want to spend time with those who keep you happy and excited about your new life and all the possibilities in your future.

Education pays. Are you lacking marketable skills? Do you dream of becoming a psychologist or geologist or chemist? If you’ve never completed high school, get your GED. If you have a diploma, consider getting a university degree. You can apply for financial aid and could qualify for scholarships, grants and loans based on income and need. These monies can also include living expenses such as rent, food and childcare. Education and skills can protect you from ending up on welfare and your government knows this.

Chart your own course. If being on your own is a new and scary proposition, then this is the time to get excited about all the possibilities ahead of you. Will you move to a different town or city? Will you return to school? Will you start your own business? Will you keep your house or buy a condo instead? How do you want to live? Who do you want to spend time with? Maybe for the first time in your life you are able to ask yourself these questions and make decisions based upon your dreams and desires, not someone else’s.

Unclutter your life. A divorce is a good time to unload excessive “stuff” you’ve accumulated throughout the years. Simplify the way you live and you’ll spend less time cleaning up, organizing the clutter and that stifling feeling of not having enough space. More than likely, you have enough space. Get rid of things you don’t love or don’t use. Your local mission or women’s shelter may have a person who really needs much of what you are storing in closets, shelves and under beds. Start your new life free of the past.

Maintain a strong support network. You need family and friends especially during and after a divorce. You’ll need people you can rely on in a pinch for help around the house or in emergencies or for help with the kiddos. Make sure your relationships are reciprocal – don’t be a drain on people. Yet also don’t be afraid to ask your people for what you need. They want to help, they just need to know how.

Pay your attorney. Make sure of this no matter what it takes to get it done. Your attorney did a job for you at the worst time in your life and deserves to be paid. Don’t burn this bridge. In the future when you need legal advice or help to enforce provisions of the decree, you will want to know that you can contact your attorney at any point and that they will be more than happy to step up again and fight for you. No one wants to fight for someone who didn’t follow through on an obligation.

Keep the faith. Whatever faith or belief system you have, this is not the time to lose it. Step out of yourself and look for others in need when your own problems seem to be too much to handle. It’ll give you better perspective when you need it most.

These ideas will help any divorced woman start fresh, have a better outlook on her future and begin planning for an exciting life. You can beat the statistics by planning to succeed and not accepting anything less for you or your children.