Girls Night Out When You’re Married

July 6, 2009 by Maria Padilla  
Published in Marriage

Once you’re married, so many things change, and you miss your girlfriends! Here’s some ideas on how to arrange for girls night out when you’re married.

Being married has been pretty blissful.  Your husband is as good as it gets, you’ve even managed to make your different lifestyles come together.  But you miss your girlfriends!  Not only that, but your single girlfriends are still going out to the bar and “hooking up” so suddenly, hanging out with them makes no sense anymore.  You feel alone, cut-off, and somewhat friendless.  So what are you to do?

The very first thing to do, is to be fair.  How often would you like your husband to go out to have a boys night out?  Once a week?  Once a month?  Once a year?  The idea here is that if you don’t want your husband to have boys night out, then you really shouldn’t be entitled to girls night out.

Work out a “night out” schedule with your spouse.  How often it happens depends on how you work with each other.  I think a good “night out schedule” should be once a month.  Obviously, this depends on each person, and could be more or less often.

Once you start spending time apart, however, new problems arise.  For example, now you will be spending even less time together, so it’s a good idea to invest some quality time as well.  This will be of great importance.

Next, negotiate days for night out.  If you have children, this can be a little trickier, since, unless you have a great babysitter you can depend on, you can’t both spend the same night out.  Taking care of kids should be of priority as well.

Now, as for the girlfriends… Let’s be fair, too.  If you don’t want your husband to go to a strip club with his buddies to have a few beers, you shouldn’t go to the singles bar to flirt.  Find a friend or two that are willing to give up such activities for a night, and come up with something fun to do.

This does not mean that it is completely inappropriate to go out to the bar with your girlfriends, but there is a certain element of respect that goes into such an activity.  For one, you are now married.  You exchanged vows of loyalty and love, and maybe even devotion, and those can’t go out the window.  You can find a nice, quiet dive bar that may not have a lot of people but all the fun things you and your girlfriends like to do, like darts, karaoke, or pool.

Remember that “girls night out” could very well be just “girls night in” and hang out for an evening of fun and games at someone’s house.   A good investment into a Wii and a couple of typical bar games for the Wii can go a very long way, not only for you and your girlfriends, but for you and your husband, too!

6
Liked it
4 Responses to “Girls Night Out When You’re Married”
  1. Gail Gunter Says:

    Well done. You have hit on one of the “Great Compromises” among married couples. Finding that balance means everything!

  2. Maria Padilla Says:

    Thank you! I am hoping it can help other married ladies out there that are going through some issues.

  3. Mark Says:

    It would be nice to believe the missus wasnt out allowing the single guys to buy her drinks, and flirting with them. Yes, shes married, so what you ask?
    Accepting a free drink from a guy who thinks your single or married-but-carefree, is not a sign of a healthy person or healthy marriage. Toxic friends who spend their lives at bars \”hooking up\” is not healthy either, I wouldnt want a woman whose spent her last several years frequenting bars, and being a simple piece of meat. Gross!
    It will only take one of those strangers at a bar to follow you home, after being duped all night long. Think about it.

  4. Mark Says:

    It would be nice to believe the missus wasnt out allowing the single guys to buy her drinks, and flirting with them. Yes, shes married, so what you ask?
    Accepting a free drink from a guy who thinks your single or married-but-carefree, is not a sign of a healthy person or healthy marriage. Toxic friends who spend their lives at bars \\\\\\\”hooking up\\\\\\\” is not healthy either, I wouldnt want a woman whose spent her last several years frequenting bars, and being a simple piece of meat. Gross!
    It will only take one of those strangers at a bar to follow you home, after being duped all night long. Think about it.


Tell us what you're thinking...

comments powered by Disqus