Do I Really Want to Catch Him Cheating?

My mind goes back to my very first boyfriend.  He was the love of my life and still holds the title of ‘Best Boyfriend I Ever Had’, but, please don’t tell him that.  I don’t want him having that much ego stroking.  Yes, I caught him cheating.  It was a horrific experience for a young woman, who was sure she had found her life-long companion and best friend.  Before, I caught him cheating, I was first hit with all the signs of cheating:

• Suddenly, unavailable when I called.
• Never where he said he would be.
• Crazy jealous of my activities, when he wanted to be bothered with me.
• Accusing me of doing the very things he was doing. 
• Late picking me up from work, or not showing at all.
• Friends spotting him with a woman, which he claimed was his sister.  Had no reason to doubt that, since he had many.
• Over-the-top anger when confronted with the simplest questions.

These red flags, along with a few others, prompted me to go on a quest to catch him cheating.  But, the question remains, ‘Do I really want to catch him cheating?’  Curiosity really does kill the cat.  I found that out the hard way.  My suspicions were revealed to be true and I caught him in the act, so, now what?

After the devastating realization, I went into a tailspin of emotions which truly took me a couple of years to recover from.  After I caught him cheating, I continued in victim mode; trying hard to believe the lies and sitting stranded in my life, waiting for him to show up.  I, soon, learned to gather myself and move on.  

Today, my perspective about cheating mates is so much different.  I have taken the ‘could care less’ approach.  I don’t want to know if he’s cheating, because if I have to ask that question, then, I know that something is terribly wrong and I probably need to step back and evaluate the relationship as a whole.  Not only do I evaluate the relationship, but, I evaluate myself.  Evaluating him, leads to no where.

So, do I want to catch him cheating?  Not so much.  Being in an honest relationship is the goal of any adult.  Always having to weed through someones words to find the truth is never appealing.  So, I say this to any woman.  Don’t go looking for trouble, because the trouble is already there.  If there is no trust, then, there is nothing.  Change your focus and start thinking about yourself and what you want out of the life that you are living.  If the relationship is salvageable, then, it will survive, but, if it’s not, don’t get caught in the trap of being pulled down into the abyss of lies, cheating and deception.

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Follow me on Twitter @mphsglo; also, enjoy reading:

Dealing with a Stalker Your Own Personal Terrorist

Where You Are

The Miracle of Jasmine’s Smile