Divorce: Oh, No! But, Yes!

Nothing can describe how happy a boy and a girl were when they first met and fell in love with each other. The world seemed to belong to them, just the two of them. Heavy rain, snow or traffic jams would not be able to stop them from seeing each other. They did not care whether or not their relationship was supported by their parents. What they felt was happy and happy. 

A relationship prior to marriage takes a relative period of time; it can be long or short depending much on the doers (boy and girl). If a relationship does not go as it should be, it breaks. That is the end of it, no problem. Another relationship awaits ahead. Some say “It is better than divorce”. The only problem is, however, when the girl has lost her virginity due to illegal sexual contacts, and the boy says ‘good-bye’ without losing anything. Why is it a problem? ‘A drop of blood’ on the first sexual contact in a legal marriage may still be highly appreciated, and without which a man may questions to whom his wife’s virginity was given. If the negotiation betwen both parties does not satisfy any of them, a newly married couple may end their relationship in a divorce. 

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In a marriage, it is sometimes not as beautiful as it has been imagined. One problem comes after another; naughty children, finance, extra affairs, and many more, each of which become a test  whether or not the marriage life can go on. In the celebrity world, marriage and divorce have become sensational  moments. Britney Spears, for example,  filed the shortest marriage on earth, though finally she got her Mr. Right and has lived happily ever since (with her children around). I don’t know for sure now. In Indonesia, marriage and divorce among celebrities have become public entertainments in TV gossip shows and radio interviews.

In Islam, as I mentioned before, divorce is legally granted but condemned by God. it is granted so as to give chances to both parties to take their own ways (possibly to get another marriage), rather than, for example keeping the marriage intact but having illegal affairs with others. Meanwhile, it is condemned because sometimes divorce creates another problem. The man still has to financially support his children up to adulthood (financially independent). Therefore, it is adviceable for the newly divorced couple to reunite (remarried) for the purpose of child care if at all possible. 

Another problem after divorce concerns wealth. It is not easy to equally distribute wealth in a divorced family. Normally, a spouse followed by children shall get more wealth. But, in reallity, it is not easy at all. 

Whatever choice to take in marriage life (whether to continue or end), both parties should seek advice from experts just to make sure that their choice is the best one. If marriage is to be continued, there must be reconciliation between both parties so as not to start another conflict. Similarly, if divorce is chosen, things should be considered, not to create another problem, but to create a new happy  life for each party. The welfare and care of children (if any) should not be ignored.  

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