Cheating is Cheating…it is Never Your Fault

Most cheaters do not cheat because of physical needs. Many cheat because they simply are insecure lonely people. If their needs are not being met and they love the spouse, they talk. They do something to try to work it out.

If I were hurting, why would I want someone else to comfort me? That would only add to a already existing problem. So a cheater is not trying to “fix” a problem. They are essence selfish people. They are only trying to take care of their own needs.

Sometimes people talk and talk, but no one listens. They can cry, yell and scream but are never heard. They are shut out and avoided or left to deal with their feelings alone. 

People do not realize it can be the start of an affair. When partners feel isolated and alone in their own home. Maybe they want to know someone cares, feel loved and appreciated. To know that they are not worthless or stupid. Their thoughts are not ridiculous or the tears are not dramatic but real. To be heard and not shouted over in a discussion. That is NO justification for a affair. That is justification to take control of your life.

What happens is, when the tears stop……that’s when you Pay close attention. That is when a persons strength develops. That is when a person says enough is enough. That is when they begin to learn their own self-worth and begin to make a grand decision.

It becomes a choice between loving yourself or the other person more. Fighting for you or the relationship. There comes a time in everyone life that enough is truly enough. You decide a plan has to be in the making. A plan has to be made. You are worth the fight for you.

So people listen….if your spouse if trying to talk listen..make time…there is no justification for cheating but do not give them a reason for emotional cheating either….that can lead to physical cheating….be there when they need you…or someone else will be….that is when the problem starts.

AND…..If they do cheat…..Remember….Let them own it…It is them who did it not you.

Don’t let them say it is your fault, blame you, say if only you, if you, but you…..NONE of the YOU……It was never YOU!!!! 

It was they who did it..They would decided to break the commitment not you. Let them own it. Let them make amends. Let them say I am sorry. Let be be accountability. Let them be responsible.

No matter what it was not you!!!! DO NOT OWN IT!!!