Can You Have an Open Marriage or is The Marriage Open Because It Does Not Really Exist?

November 2, 2013 by Chris726598  
Published in Marriage

There is no such thing …

Okay I was going to post this response to a question about Monique’s open marriage to a message board but decided to keep it for myself! But in all seriousness though I just do not see how an open marriage could ever work. To me an open marriage is sort of like a pre-nuptial agreement, it is a way to cross your fingers before going into a full blown marriage. Everything should be fair game with an open marriage. If you agree to the terms your partner is proposing to you one has to keep in mind that there is that possibility that you or your partner could fall in love with someone else and that the relationship falls apart. People see an open marriage as a way to circumvent the inconveniences of infidelity, but I don’t think that is the end result. If you tell your partner that you are going to do something it takes away the need to do it. I would be thinking about the fact that I told my wife that I was going to do something and I could not go through with it. Technically she says that she is okay with it, but then you can’t do it. If you see someone and you are infatuated with them and aroused by that other person the idea of being open with it to someone else ruins everything. I just can’t see how that would strengthen anyone’s relationship I would think that it would ruin both the relationship of the one that is supposed to be your spouse and the person you are out there with.

The only way it would work is if you two agreed to do what you are going to do, but then you do not want to know what the other person is up to, you do not want the intimate details about it. Even then you still have your spouse on your mind. When infidelity becomes a part of a relationship because someone refuses to leave that is one thing, but going into a relationship stating that it is okay to cheat is something completely different. How do you know that he/she is not going to fall for anyone else? Your own relationship with your spouse may only be as strong as your sexual relationship is with your partner, and it may take a open marriage for some people to realize that. I guess it could work if two people were really good friends and their relationship was a lot deeper than their relationships with the people they step out with but I fear that the average couple that tries this is going to realize that is not the case.

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