Before You Get Married

Before you get married, remember to do the things you will find out you should of done before you got married. O.k. let me help you out here, 80% of failed marriages in the U.S. are due to one major over site,  “UNDER ESTIMATION” yep that’s right most people go into marriage assuming they know their proposed spouse to be. As a young man who grew up in church, but was never taught the real facts of marriage, I could not understand why God did not want us to have pre-marital sex. Now I do understand and I want to share my findings so that you can draw your own conclusions  from new {possibly}  information. This is really simple, God hates divorce, so before you get married or reap the benefits of marriage without the responsibility. Get to know the intent of your intent. what do you know about this person, is he/she who they say they are? how about their back ground history? How do they handle their business? how’s their work history. You see there is so much that you need to know about that person before you get married but the fact is when we are move by what we see instead of what we know, we then set ourselves up for possible marital disasters. It has always be said that “men sometimes think with the wrong head” well ladies what’s your excuse? The Bible tells us to “be anxious for nothing”……. so why are you in such a hurry to “give it up”?. two wrongs don’t make a right! when we allow our flesh to dictate our relationship we are in for a really big problem. God wanted us to get to know each other before the flesh could get involved, thinking with the heart is tricky enough but thinking with the crotch now that’s scary! and dangerous, why because the crotch thinker can never be satisfied because their SELFISH. I wrote an article a while back and it titled “THE BAGGAGE I CARRY”, and I gave it that title because I was going through some drama in my marriage, and I realized that a big part of the problem was there were things on both sides of our marriage that we never gotten straight on prior to getting married and so we brought this baggage into the relationship and when the bags were opened (a past hurt was triggered) all hell begin to break loose. But with much prayer and Biblical counseling we are on a wonderful road to recovery and we are enjoying the journey. Now back to you! where are you in your relationship? do you know all there is to know about your partner? MY wife insisted that I tell her everything, and I was very reluctant to do so. But she said something that made sense and that was she did not want to hear it in the streets from somebody else, and I pondered on that and surprisingly it made sense, why? well because it would be more devastating to her and our family if I was hiding a dark secret and it slipped out and it brought shame and emotional hurt to my house hold so I/we have made sure that even if the kids don’t know we know and can there for handle what ever comes our direction. in conclusion,  trust has to be built, but unless you start asking questions you will live with and settle for a lie, because it FEELS good. Five thing to ask or investigate prior to marriage.

1. what does it take to set you off or piss you off? This is a must to find out now, not 6 months down the road
2. How is your credit rating?. Poor credit could mean  poor money management skills
3. Have you ever been arrested for a felony? Wouldn’t you want to do the reading instead of being read about?
4. How big or small is your bank account. You can’t judge a person by his account until you get all the facts.
5. Have you ever had STD’S.

Now there are other questions to ask also but these will get you started. Trust God on this if He say wait and get to know that person then just wait! then when the hard time come you can look back and remember why you still love him/her because you will have gotten to know the real person and you just might have a happy marriage. Once you get to know your partner you will know how to better please them and this will enhance your relationship. Ladies can I share something with you from a mans point of view? Most men who use viagra only use it with their wives….not their girl friends. Your marriage is  a ministry you must learn to minister to the whole man, or women. learn to serve each other, better yet learn to OUT LOVE oneanother.  God bless you