Be Cautious with Truthfulness Following an Extramarital Affair
Yet even with this you have to be careful. While telling the truth is most certainly the best policy, pursuing it at all cost can lead to more problems. The fact is if done improperly candor can wreck the marriage for good.
Restoring two way communication following cheating is essential. There is no genuine marriage if the you are just talking to each other regarding family business. While this is important it should not be the sole item holding the marriage together.
A big part of this two way communication is truthfulness. Your unfaithful mate told many lies when they were carrying on an extramarital relationship. If the marital relationship is going to be restored then truthfulness must be first and foremost. Absolutely no more lying and that includes not only actual words but also omission.
However you must be careful. While truthfulness is undoubtedly the best policy, it can easily lead to more problems. The fact is if through incorrectly honesty may well destroy the marriage once and for all.
1. Communication Overload
You elect to have a frank conversation with the cheating spouse regarding the particulars of the extramarital relationship. You are doing this in order to help with the recovery stage. As a result your husband or wife begins sharing the details in a very explicit manner. It’s not long before the anger you have been feeling makes an appearance.
The description gets too much for you to handle and pretty soon you are having an emotional meltdown. Your anger has been let loose and you both begin arguing almost nonstop. After things have calmed down you realize that the relationship is now over. Or at the minimum the two of you remain together but from here on in it is going to be like living with a total stranger.
If you are really interested to know the graphic details of their the marital affair then be prepared to call time and walk away for a bit. Taking it in smaller measures can save you a lot of anxiety. You are presently under a strain you don’t need to add to it anymore than what’s currently there. Also remember you do not always have to know the candid details of an extramarital affair in order to start the recovery process. Sometimes it is advisable to only know so much.
2. Wielding Honesty Like A Weapon
After unfaithfulness you think it’s your personal right to be their judge and jury. In fact the entire court system. And oh boy do you exercise that right. You commence making use of the truth on your husband or wife like a powerful instrument. Whatever the subject you take the opening to tell your spouse everything that is wrong with them. From something they said a long time ago to annoying behaviors that you kept silent about longer than you should have.
It’s not long before your spouse comes to the conclusion that two people can play this game and before either of you realize it truth bombs are now being thrown at one another fast and furious.
That is no way to heal following infidelity. In order to stay in the marriage requires honesty however if there is absolutely no balance to all of it you might as well quit kidding yourself and begin the divorce process immediately. Truthfulness is meant to fix the marital relationship not to cause more pain than you already have.