Avoid Six Common Problems Married Couples

March 26, 2013 by Madam HOT  
Published in Marriage

Every married couple must have a problem. Arguably, all the married life you will find new things that could potentially create conflicts. However, you both are different people with this mindset, ego, and desire respectively.

Every married couple must have a problem. Arguably, all the married life you will find new things that could potentially create conflicts. However, you both are different people with this mindset, ego, and desire respectively.

“There is no marriage is 100 percent trouble-free, although they look cool calm on the outside,” said Indra Noveldy wedding consultant, wedding seminar while in Jakarta some time ago. According to him, every married couple would surely meet six common problems like this:

1. Not to know them
The courtship should be a good time to know them further. “Unfortunately, when people are just going to focus on looking for fun just like the two of us, eating in the cafe, or watch, without finding out the identity of the actual couples,” said Indra.

Just to know what his favorite food, favorite movies and reading, or any ex, does not mean you already know him well. If anything, you have to know a couple of the surface. Long courtship was actually not guarantee each couple had known each other completely, and do not guarantee the future of a lasting and happy marriage.

Use the time to get to know your dating personality and maturity of the couple as well as myself, as a preparation for entering marriage. Learn about our hopes and fears, his goal in life, how she faces problems in life and find a solution. Indra said, recognize also the mindset and maturity level partner. By getting to know him more deeply, the likelihood of conflict resulting in a mismatch can be minimized.

2. Couple too many demands
Most couples always required to dibahagiakan by her partner. Sayangny, it is not followed by a reciprocal process. That is, just like dibahagiakan, but do not try to be happy partner. When each does not get the desired happiness, conflict arises quite heavy.

Indra said that to overcome these couples should look inward to each other mutually happy couple with no strings attached. You also need to reduce the demands on the couple to keep you happy. Basically, marriage happiness will not be created when there is no willingness for mutual happiness.

3. There is no sense of comfort
One of the most important thing in marriage is a comfort to one another. Discomfort of the couple in the house to be one of the triggers of conflict, and make one of your choosing to escape the discomfort at home. “Notice the attitude of spouse, if he is more often on the outside and be more subdued, but when his friends outside he looks cheerful. If this is the case, she might not feel comfortable with you,” he explained.

4. Ego
Everyone has their ego. But when they got married, self ego should be pressed in order to create comfort for each party. “Ego and happiness can not walk together, then when they got married we had to choose one of them,” he said.

If you both put their egos, often these interests will collide giving rise to the conflict and an end to the unhappiness partner. If you want to be happy, at least you both must be willing and able to suppress their egos and find a solution to realize the happiness of the household.

5. Do not know the needs of partner
Married and spending time with friends is not a guarantee you will definitely know the partner’s needs. “It could be likened to choosing food. Si he does not like to eat steak, but you always give her a surprise in the form of eating at a steak restaurant because you love it,” said Indra.

Often we think this is a requirement, when in fact we are more to the wishes us to give what we want in a partner. The problem, often what we give is not something they need. “It’s because we do not know what the needs of our partner, but we are snobs know,” he explained.

6. Communication
Communicating is not the same as speaking. Communication not only be done by talking to the couple, but also through body language and many other ways. Unfortunately, many couples who equate the communication by talking to the couple. The problem is, the usual conversations between couples often just talking small talk, or “essential already reprimanded”. However, communication is more than just talk niceties, such as an affectionate gestures, expressions of the heart, can recognize when their partner is upset or stressed, is also a form of communication that is needed to get a life lasting and happy marriage.

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