Anatomy of a Powerful Marriage

When we think of marriage, images of couples, family, kids, white picket fences, come to mind.  Also, we assume that the number one ingredient for a successful marriage is love.  Not necessarily.  Love is an important factor in a relationship, just as many others such as:  respect, friendship, passion, money, sex … the list goes on.  All these factors contribute to a healthy, and hopefully, long lasting marriage.

When people say “I do,” they say it in the hopes that they will share many years together, and grow old, supporting each other …for better or for worst.  Even modern couples seem to have the same expectation of longevity of marriage.  Some may argue that pre-nups contradict this expectation, but in reality, people signing pre-nups are hoping for the same – a long lasting happy marriage.

Love evolves in a marriage – from the beginning stages of physical attraction, passion, romanticism, adoration, to mutual understanding, respect, tolerance and compatibility.  When the romantic-passionate love that we are fed in novels and movies (starts early with Snow White, Cinderella …) doesn’t match the expectations we have in a marriage, a couple is force to re-evaluate their relationship.  Many find themselves asking this question:  “What’s love got to do with it?”

A lot, but not enough.  Many marriages fail despite the couple’s love for one another.  A more important factor is at play in a healthy marriage, and that is, a common interest.  When people don’t have anything else in common, even after a lifetime, they start growing apart, in different directions.  They stop talking about their passions, their dreams, and the future.  Soon, the distance grows, and conversations turn into an echo of the activities of the day (work, school…) mirroring the same conversations that you would have with a coworker, or worst, a stranger.  Soon, people think love is gone.

A powerful couple is one that has common interests, and is able to blend their male and female strengths into their marriage.  They love and respect each other as individuals.  They become a partnership.  And as long as they cultivate common interests, and celebrate their male-female strengths, their love bond will grow strong, for many years to come.