After The Case: What Happens Now?

November 6, 2011 by Budi92  
Published in Marriage

Here’s what you need to know why the question can not be done and how marriage counseling can help you both to move on.

So, who deceives those who in these days? The statistics vary from infidelity: According to one study, researchers at the University of Chicago, 15-18 percent of the participants have never betrayed a spouse during marriage.

But when the question is about your partner, many people experience the consequences of infidelity does not matter – it is anger, grief, fear and feel that it is harmful. And this is true for an emotional relationship, or the matter of the heart, as well as physical or sexual relationship.

An emotional affair, which has all the signs of infidelity – such as distancing himself and the secession of a partner – but without sex, can cause as much damage as can a sexual affair, says Steven Kimmons, SJ Ph.D., associate professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Neurosciences at Loyola University Medical Center and advisor to Fahey Center in Maywood, Illinois

In today’s world, e-mail, cell phones, text messaging and Internet chat rooms are all ways in which people can connect and stay connected with others, and that can help you be one thing and get caught, says Kimmons. E-mail accounts and cell phone call logs can be easily accessible spouse.

When infidelity occurs and discovers, it takes a lot of work to rally their link in a healthy marriage, but you can do.

Why Partners Cheats

There are probably as many reasons why people cheat, as there are couples seeking a marriage counselor, Kimmons said.

Sometimes, infidelity is a symptom of problems in existing relationships. When you see a doctor about physical discomfort, your doctor will ask about your symptoms and are trained to make a diagnosis. “It’s like infidelity,” says Kimmons. Infidelity is a symptom and a mission is to deepen counselor to find out what relationship problems caused someone to be unfaithful.

This does not mean that the case was justified, or that the spouse had betrayed the culprit, but rather try to fix the marriage is to look at what went wrong – which led to infidelity.

“One misconception is that adultery is sex and I do not think it is usually,” said Ann Hart Lage, Ph.D., psychologist and director of domestic and sexual therapy at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago. “It usually starts with problems in a relationship.”

Here are some reasons why a spouse may be unfaithful:

Unresolved conflicts in marriage that makes a partner to give up and go to another person’s privacy

Feeling uncomfortable with aging

Sexual dissatisfaction with a partner

Having trouble being intimate with your partner – a business allows a person to avoid a deep intimacy with someone

Boredom in marriage, which leads to a partner to justify the issue

Stresses of life such as work, financial problems or problems with children that make some people find a business

Loneliness or fails to connect with your spouse

The partner is narcissistic because they think they do not receive enough attention from her husband, they seek extra attention from another person.

Surviving infidelity: Marriage Counseling

There is usually a process of healing after infidelity was observed, Hartlage said. Couples have problems securing employment relationship that may have contributed to the event.

First of all, anger, pain and fear, often in anger, and then you have done to restore confidence, which can take a long time. Hartlage said he was working for a couple who had been together for over 20 years – there has been infidelity in the early stages of the relationship, but a partner who has been betrayed never fully recovered confidence.

Even the concept of your relationship may be a factor in how the infidelity of the time. “If the perception is that” he would never cheat, and will never be a time when it is far from being the number one in your life, “it is very difficult to remedy violations, such as infidelity,” says Kimmons.

Nobody wants to infidelity in a relationship, he says, but when you see the experience of the partners in the process of growth in their relationship, he or she is more likely to be able to forgive her husband . “That does not mean it’s easy or simple, but with the help he or she,” said Kimmons.

One thing to consider is whether the case was an isolated incident or part of a model. It is very difficult for a partner to heal after infidelity is a constant problem.

On the other hand, the old adage: “Once a cheater, always a cheater” is not true for everyone, Hartlage said. Some people have been unfaithful, but he worked to repair their marriage, and move on without cheating once again, he says.

A big mistake couples make the planning director as a last resort. If the report was under the threat of infidelity, marriage counseling to get as soon as Kimmons suggests. Often, couples are willing to take time to resolve relationship problems, but I do not know what to do. A marriage counselor can help you right away.

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