Adopt a &Ldquo;friendly” Attitude Rather Than a &Ldquo;careful” One

August 16, 2013 by Claretta D  
Published in Marriage

Many of us think of strangers and people we do not know as “those people we need to be careful about.” If you are in a subway or in a bus or even on the road and you meet strangers, what do you do? Most people consciously ignore the presence of another person. We try to avoid meeting strangers who have not been introduced to.

Many of us think of strangers and people we do not know as “those people we need to be careful about.” If you are in a subway or in a bus or even on the road and you meet strangers, what do you do? Most people consciously ignore the presence of another person. We try to avoid meeting strangers who have not been introduced to us via a friend as if it could lead to something really grave, if we didn’t. At the core, we subscribe to the “be careful” mindset. But we take it further – to the extent that we are almost afraid of someone we don’t know. When you have this mindset, most of your interactions with people are going to be just about OK (and only OK) and you will end up feeling just about OK (and not happy). A better mindset to have is the “everyone’s my friend” mindset. I am not saying you should go out of your way to say Hi to anyone on the street. But let your vibe be that of a friend. Assume that the next stranger you are going to encounter is an amazing person. Don’t be afraid of him or anyone else on the street. Assume intimacy. When you talk to a shopkeeper or a worker or a random person you meet, be genuine, helpful and happy to interact with him rather than cautious and very judgmental This attitude will increase your own happiness levels by a large extent. An interesting consequence of this friendly attitude is that you won’t even realize it and people will start behaving in a very friendly way with you. They will talk to you more naturally, share with you things they wouldn’t generally share and even help you out. And that will make you even friendlier the next time you encounter a stranger! Yes, I can sense your question: won’t being so friendly and natural make me vulnerable? Won’t that make people take advantage of me? The answer is not at all! Most of the time other people are as afraid of you as you are of them. They are just waiting for you to open up. The moment you are friendlier, they put their guards down and reciprocate your friendliness. In the extreme case when someone does not respond to your friendly attitude and uses it against you, unfriend the person – but keep the attitude. The attitude is good and will make you happy.

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