A Marriage of Loneliness

Married and lonely should not be synonymous. But because of the economic downturn, many couples are finding themselves lonely at home while the other is working long hours to make ends meet.

It is understandable how a wife or a husband would be lonely in that particular situation. But what you do with the practicality of both having to work with the loneliness factor prevalent is important to building the relationship back up. It is important to keep love, tenderness and time in your relationship if it is to last. Lasting relationships should be void of loneliness.  The couple should work together to fix the loneliness factor in a way that no one loses their jobs or their marriage. 

Marriages that have stood the test of time have little problem with partners being apart. These couples may have found other activities to keep themselves occupied while apart and can work through loneliness issues. Most of these longtime couples have knowledge of each other interests and have taken solace in being apart.

However, newlyweds and newly married couples need to be together to get to know each other and to build up their relationships. These new couples as well as the other couples who have been together for a while needs to find the time to be together.

The relationship should not have the loneliness factor because that is not the purpose that two people get together to form a relationship. Relationships are formed for a certain endearment of togetherness not that of loneliness. Of course, if there is not a mutual understanding of the relationship or the awareness that one partner is lonely, there could be problems. The nagging wife may surface or the wayward husband may venture out to find someone to keep the relationship going. 

Your husband most likely will not complain about loneliness and happy to resort to their man cave.   The woman of in the marriage is likely to complain about being lonely. It takes a special man to speak about how to repair the loneliness issues.   Women will talk to other women instead of the man involved in the relationship. Women do not mind crying on someone else’s shoulder and relieving stress instead of bringing up the loneliness factor to their husbands.

The wife has a right to complain about the marriage and the loneliness. The husband if he is the one away most of the time, should curtail some of his activities if not work related and build up the relationship with his wife.

If the reason for the loneliness in the marriage is because the husband and wife no longer wants to be together, then a professional counselor should be consulted. The couple should initially talk out the loneliness issues and seek their own solutions to build up the relationship. The wife should not accept the status of a marriage that is one of loneliness. The wife in the lonely marriage should consult the clergy or a professional marriage counselor if she finds herself married and still lonely.