Family Affiars or Family Disasters

February 5, 2011 by Dr Robert E McGinnis  
Published in Family

Too often we get sucker punched by a relative who has a special need that we are not capable of, handling alone or in our present state of affairs. There are ways to get into a position to help some of those problems rather than make things worse.

Personalize your life.

Have you noticed how difficult life can be? Have you run into the holier than thou crowd? Where do you turn for love, affection and the acceptance which we all need?

We may be created equal according to governmental decree, but that award does not carry over into our personal lives when it concerns strangers, friends or relatives. We are judged by a variety of standards with all those who meet us. Oh, yes, there are people who claim they don’t qualify new friends, but you can bet, you are added to a category of some kind back down in the subconscious. There are a few people who will recognize us without qualification and definition, but they are few and far between.  Most of the time, it is, if you want to play with my toys, in my game, you will follow my rules. Don’t believe me? Just try to go outside of their domain and then try to get back in. It is tough.

This can happen with close relatives, but more often with distant relatives who are going to compare us with their own lives and then with the lives of relatives more closely related. We are subject to all kinds of scrutiny, and measurement: Money, position, power, education, living standard, job and even to the size and personality of our dog. These are not only measured areas, but can instill an insular boundary on a relationship.

I am sure it is human nature to want to fly with birds of the same feather. I would like to see it not go quite that far. In my own family, I have cousins that look down their nose at others and make offhand remarks about the religion, child rearing methods or some such impertinent and offensive comments about the other. Religion is so very personal, why should I expect everyone to believe and worship the way I do? The way I rear my children is related to a thousand different circumstances including who my parents were, why would anyone want to compare what I do with what they believe is right? You can think of many other examples in your own life.

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