Every girl dreams of the big white wedding. And almost every single woman will work her way to walking down the aisle in the grandest fashion. But let’s get real. Times are tough, budgets are tight and somehow, planning your wedding will involve cutting corners.

It’s not quite a bad thing, though. Quaint, intimate, small weddings are equally big in memories as their 200-guest list counterparts. Here’s why:

Smaller budget, smaller costs – A smaller guest list means fewer mouths to feed and renting a more cozy and affordable venue. This also means a smaller bill at the open bar. Smaller weddings also call for a smaller entourage, so this means fewer bridesmaids to dress up.

Lower chance of debt – There’s a lot of wedding horror stories going around about how the couple’s first financial task was to deal with the credit card bill and debts with family and friends incurred during the wedding planning. Small weddings help you keep the expenses down and lessen the opportunity for debt. That is, unless you really have no money to start with.

Fewer unwanted gifts – Not all gifts can be exchanged or returned. Not everyone will avail of the registry service. Your second aunt Doris will lovingly knit you guys matching sweaters. That obscure cousin from your uncle’s second marriage will gladly give you that tacky photo frame he got from his own wedding.

More time to meet and greet your guests – The conga line may be shorter, but there’s more time to actually sit down, chat for a couple of minutes and memorize the names of your guests (especially your in-laws). There’s an even greater chance of snooping out the gatecrashers.

More time to focus on you as a couple – Even with a coordinator, big weddings can overwhelm you with the planning for that One Big Day. But the greater concern to focus on is the lifetime that happens after that. Small weddings lend to simpler planning strategies. [See HERE for the 5 things you need for a successful wedding] What you end up with is more time to prepare your mind and heart for your future spouse.

Many real life couples opt for smaller weddings simply because there’s no point to spending all that money in one night. There are lots of little ways to bring down the cost of The Big Day. See this article for a list of ideas.

1.  Delegate- There is no shame in asking for help. Don’t try to do everything yourself, it will just lead to much unneeded stress on your big day.
2.  Less is more- When planning the decorations for your wedding, don’t over do it. Your guests should be focused on you and your spouse, not what is around them.
3.  Think outside the box- Personalize your wedding by doing something non-traditional. Instead of a wedding cake, try a dessert that will have your guests telling their friends how your wedding was unique.
4. Hire the right DJ- Your DJ will really set the mood of your reception. Take the time to really get to know the personalities of your potential DJ’s  so your reception will be all that you hoped for.
5. Limit after wedding pictures- Your guests will be waiting to greet you and your spouse after the ceremony, so don’t make them wait any longer than they have to.
6.  Throw out the guest book- Instead of having your guests sign a book, have them sign something that you will actually look at more than once in your life, like a picture frame or a keep sake box with all of your other wedding memorabilia.
7. Write your own vows- This will make the most traditional part of your wedding unique and leave your guests feeling the love between you and your spouse. 

It is inappropriate to have weapons in a church unless there are extenuating circumstances and you have the proper permission.  For example, if there is inclement weather, you may ask permission to have the Arch of Sabers inside the church.  You also need to ask permission if you plan to have two arches (one inside the church and one outside the church).

As the bride and/or groom pass under the Arch of Sabers, the sabers are held with the sharp edges up.  When the couple reaches the final pair of saber-bearers, the last two people in the arch block their passage by lowering their sabers.  One saber bearer will say “The price of passage is one kiss,” while the other saber bearer gently taps the bride on the behind and says “Welcome to the Army.”  If the bride is already in the Army, then the saber-bearer would not say that.

Those who act as saber-bearers in an Air Force wedding do not traditionally act as ushers.  This is different from the sword-bearers in a Navy or Marine Corps wedding.  In a Navy or Marine Corps wedding, the swordsmen do actually act as ushers.  They show the guests to their seats.  The Arch of Swords is very similar to the Arch of Sabers.

During the receiving line at the reception, the groom should precede his bride in the receiving line.  It is acceptable to hold the Arch of Sabers at the reception instead of at the chapel.  If the bride and groom use the Arch of Sabers during the reception, the saber-bearers line up in front of the wedding cake.  The couple will walk under the arch before cutting the cake.  The bride and groom will cut the cake with a saber.  The groom will hold his hands over hers while they carefully cut the first piece of cake together.

Whether you use an Arch of Swords or an Arch of Sabers, all swordsmen/saber-bearers are required to wear white gloves.  You can also substitute rifles for the swords or sabers.  You are sure to have a memorable wedding with this time-honored military tradition.

There are several requirements imposed upon the bride and groom when planning a Roman Catholic wedding.  Both must be Catholic, baptized, confirmed, and obtain a letter of free state from the bride’s parish and the groom’s parish.  A priest will interview the couple in what is known as a pre-matrimonial investigation to ensure that they are entering into marriage under their own free will.

Pre-Cana conferences are required of the couple.  The couple will participate in group discussions with other couples to discuss the sanctity of marriage.  These conferences may be assisted by long-term married couples.  There may be variations among the dioceses.

The couple may also be required to attend a weekend retreat for engaged couples.  Priests and married couples lead the soon-to-be-wed through discussions meant to help them uncover their true feelings about marriage, each other, sex, family, and the role of the church in marriage.

If you are planning a Roman Catholic wedding ceremony, you should select a minimum of three readings from the Bible.  Because a Roman Catholic wedding is held in a public place, a church, anyone may attend without invitation.  Roman Catholic weddings are traditionally held in the bride’s church.  They are very rarely held outside of a church building (e.g. a park).

Although a couple should hold their wedding in the bride’s church, the rites of the mass should defer to those of the groom in cases where the couple is of mixed rites.  These are details that need to be discussed with the Catholic Church where the ceremony is to be held.

A Roman Catholic wedding ceremony is very much like a regular mass with an exchange of vows.  The ceremony will include the exchange of vows, the exchange of rings, prayers, music, and the nuptial blessing.  When a mass includes an exchange of vows, it is called a Nuptial Mass.

The custom of announcing your upcoming marriage is not required when you are planning a Roman Catholic wedding ceremony.  However, if you wish to remain traditional, you can have the marriage announced for three consecutive weeks in the church bulletin.

When you are planning a Roman Catholic wedding ceremony, you have some flexibility in selecting Scripture readings, hymns, and prayers.  All decisions will need to be finalized with the priest.  There will not be a great opportunity for creativity when you are planning a Roman Catholic wedding ceremony because the event is so deeply bound by tradition.

Planning a military wedding is very similar to planning a traditional wedding, in many ways.  The ceremony itself is still a religious ceremony, not a military ceremony.  However, there are some traditions that are unique to planning a military wedding, and military uniforms are worn.

Members of the bridal party who are also officers or enlisted persons will wear uniforms during a military wedding.  A bride who is also an officer may select to wear a uniform or a traditional wedding gown.  The most formal military uniform that would be worn at a wedding is the evening dress uniform.  They may also wear dinner or mess dress uniforms.  For informal weddings, Army green uniforms or mess blues can be worn.  Guests who are not in the wedding party are not obligated to wear their uniforms.

If you are planning a military wedding, you may ask a military chaplain to perform the wedding.  Although a military chaplain will not require a fee, you are required by military custom to issue a formal invitation to the chaplain and his/her spouse.

The bride’s parents and groom’s parents should still be seated in the front pew, as in a traditional wedding.  However, if the parents are not present, you may offer that seat to the bride/groom’s commanding officer and spouse.  Otherwise, the commanding officer can sit with the family or in another nearby pew.  It is customary for flag and general officers to sit behind the family.

You may want to consider sword or saber bearers if you are planning a military wedding.  Swords are used by the Coast Guard, Marine Corps, and the Navy.  Sabers are used by the Air Force, and the Army.  Swords have two-sided blades while sabers only have one sharp edge.

When you are planning a military wedding, you may plan to leave the chapel beneath the traditional arch of swords (or sabers).  Usually, there are a minimum of six uniformed ushers holding the swords (or sabers).  Alternatively, rifles may be used.  Make sure you obtain the correct number of swords, sabers, or rifles prior to the wedding.

Whether you are having a traditional wedding, or planning a military wedding, ensure the day is perfect through careful planning and budgeting. 

Sometimes, an engaged couple will decide to have their wedding out of town.  They may invite friends and family to join them.  If the bride and groom have a passion for travel, they may decide to get married in Paris, France. 

If you are planning a destination wedding, you could decide to get married in Cancun, Mexico;  a small island in the Caribbean; the Azores; Niagra Falls; or anywhere else that strikes your fancy.

For those invited guests who do decide to make the trek to a destination wedding, it will probably be a vacation.  Expect to see a lot of your guests throughout your honeymoon if you marry and honeymoon in the same spot.  Decide whether you and your new spouse will be coordinating activities for the duration of your guests’ stay, or only on the day of your wedding.

Having a destination wedding usually means having a smaller affair than a hometown wedding.  Fewer people will tend to accept the invitation since travel and accommodations are ordinarily at the guests’ expense.

A couple should select the wedding site after careful consideration, keeping in mind any climate changes or weather considerations.  If a bridal consultant is being used, make sure she knows exactly what you want and why.  Let the consultant, if you have one, handle the research.  She can compile the options available to you and present them to you. 

Don’t forget the budget.  When planning a destination wedding, it is important to know exactly how much money you have available to spend.  You can’t spend more money than you have allotted.  Don’t make any reservations, pay any deposits, or finalize any plans until you know exactly what everything costs.

Be creative.  There are no limits when planning a destination wedding.  Couples have been married in Cathedrals and castles, hotels and haciendas, beaches and barnyards.  It is entirely up to you.  Do try to consider your important guests in some circumstances.  For example, if having a handicapped accessible venue is important for one of your honored guests, you will need to ensure that accommodations can be made.

Planning a destination wedding also involves a little research into the laws and regulations of the destination.  Make sure there is no residency requirement.  You also need to know what necessary documentation is required to obtain a marriage license.  You will need to plan whether to bring your own minister, or whether one will be provided at the location.

Decide whether you and your groom will make the hotel reservations for all your guests, or whether they are on their own.  If you are not providing lodging, make sure your invited guests are absolutely clear on that matter.  You don’t want to spend your wedding night surrounded by aunts and uncles who had nowhere else to sleep.

With careful planning and budgeting, you can make your destination wedding the fairytale wedding of your dreams that you always imagined.

Death means that life has just ended and that the families and loved ones left behind must go on living without the departed one. In other words, the rest of the human race must carry on with their existence.

The Bible refers to death as sleep. And those who sleep in Jesus will wake up in that glorious morning when He returns to this world. Keeping that promise in mind is better than getting angry at God and the world, and feeling cheated or treated unfairly.

Death shows that everyone born into this world will die someday. That’s why it is important we live an honorable life.

Go for simple funeral service.

A costly, elaborate funeral is not necessarily a sign of your love and respect to the departed one especially if it involves borrowing money which may affect you and your children’s future. There are “grief counselors” who are employed by funeral parlors to sell elaborate services that may go well beyond your financial capacity.

A simple religious funeral should be enough. Cling to the hope that you and your loved one will be reunited at the second coming of the Lord; this thought will help take away many unnecessary expenses from your pocket. The involvement of your church, relatives and friends in making decisions on the type of casket, flowers, cemetery and services may prevent your money from going to the hands of the profit-conscious people.

Handle your finances wisely.

Check your loved one’s business partnerships and corporations that carry medical, accident and life insurance. Millions of pesos in benefits are not paid by insurance companies because no one claims those benefits. If you know of an attorney who has demonstrated competency in handling insurance and other claims, ask his help in obtaining your insurance and other benefits. Then keep the money for future use. It would not be advisable to make big decisions like buying real estate this time when you are not mentally ready to do so. If you still have school-age children, their education requires lots of money and is part of the unfinished task that you have to do alone with the demise of your spouse.

Establish your own identity.

Try to associate with other people, especially those who have and share the same experience. Religious organizations may also help you in your loneliness. Spend more time with nature and think about the wisdom of God. Spend more time with your children and grandchildren, helping them meet their individual needs. Take care of your personal appearance. Take time to fix yourself up and make some extra clothes. Explore new things. Read new books. Do something that you have not done before. Pick up new habits.

Start a healthful lifestyle.

Eat wholesome food—whole grain cereals, fresh fruits and vegetables. Whole foods have higher nutritional value than processed foods.

• Keep yourself trim and fit by starting or maintaining a daily exercise program.
• Drink plenty of pure, clean water.
• Get enough sunlight.
• Be temperate in all things.
• Breathe clean air.
• Make new friends.
• Learn to relax and avoid stress.
• Sleep six to eight hours a day.

Trust that God, the Owner of the universe and of your life, will see you through good times and bad.

Widows are a part of society. And like the rest of us, they too can lead happy, healthy and holy lives

Image via Wikipedia

LOCATION

There is a variety of locations which can be used for both the wedding and the reception.  It takes a tremendous amount of electricity to light up an indoor venue for a wedding reception.  The best locations would be those that take advantage of natural lighting.  To get the most use of natural sunlight, you may want to choose a daytime ceremony and reception in an outdoor location. 

An outdoor wedding and reception can take place at home.  If you plan to hold the wedding in your host’s backyard, there are many factors which need to be considered.

DECORATIONS

Traditional wedding and reception sites are usually decorated with cut flowers.  As an alternative to cut flowers, consider using potted trees and plants.  Small potted trees can be placed at the ceremony site and pots of flowering plants such as Chrysanthemums can be placed on the altar. 

The potted trees can be moved to the reception site and placed behind the head table as decorations.  The Chrysanthemums or other potted plants can be placed on the tables with the guest book and gift table.  Use potted plants as centerpieces which can be given away to the guests at the end of the reception.

MUSIC

To minimize the amount of electricity needed for the entertainment at the reception, consider using alternatives to a band or disc jockey.  You can hire a violinist to circulate among the wedding guests during dinner.  You could have an a cappella barbershop quartet provide the entertainment.  Consider a pianist to play soft music throughout dinner.

THE RECEPTION

Obviously, if you have decided not to carry a traditional floral bouquet, there will be no throwing of the bouquet at the wedding reception.  You will need to think of an alternative.  One thing you can do is have a pinata, or several pinatas, filled with candy or other small prizes.  You can have one pinata for the children (if you have invited children to the reception), and another for the adults.  Of the pinatas for the adults, you can further have one for women (as a substitute for the bouquet toss), and one for the men (as a substitute for the garter toss).

Keep it lively.  Who says you can’t play musical chairs, pin the tail on the donkey, or duck duck goose.  People will laugh and have a great time.  Your wedding will be one they won’t soon forget.

THE HONEYMOON

You don’t need to fly across the globe to have a honeymoon to remember.  There are probably many local vacation spots and attractions that you have never visited.  The following is a list of states and their popular tourist attractions.  By staying local, you will be able to avoid traveling via airplane.  Choose to visit places of interest in your home state or a neighboring state.  Use public transportation to get there. 

Image by State Library of New South Wales collection via Flickr

Your wedding ceremony was beautiful.  Now it’s time for you and your guests to proceed to the reception location.  If you and your new spouse are passionate about the environment, you may want to look at transportation in a new light.  Not only will you conserve fuel, but the impression you make on your guests will last a lifetime.  You may even instill new habits in your friends and family thanks to your good example.

You should consider alternate ways to get your guests from the ceremony site to the reception site.  Of course, one option would be to have both the ceremony and the reception held in the same location.  Both can be held at a restaurant or banquet hall.  The wedding ceremony can be held at a church with a catered reception following in the church basement. 

You can encourage your guests to carpool, or rent buses to transport them.  If the distance between the sites is small, then you can organize a parade from the wedding site to the reception site.  Be sure to check local ordinances and obtain a parade permit in advance if necessary.  The parade can be led by musicians or dancers.  The wedding party can either walk ahead of the guests, or they can be transported by bicycle taxi or rickshaws.

If you have friends and family members who own a Prius or a Smartcar, you can commandeer their vehicles for the wedding.  What better way to arrive at the church than a convoy of Smartcars?

You must also address the problem of out of town relatives.  Will you have them travel to the wedding location?  Have you considered having your wedding webcast so that out-of -towners can share in your joy without contributing to wasting jet fuel?  Or you can burn copies of your wedding DVD and send them to relatives along with a wedding announcement.

Image via Wikipedia

Traditionally, the guests at a wedding would throw rice at a newly married couple as they exited the church.  However, rice can become very slippery when wet, and it isn’t good for hapless pigeons who eat it.  Confetti and rose petal tissues are biodegradable, but they can make a mess.  They are also a waste of paper.  Blowing bubbles can be a nice choice unless there is a chance that the bubbles can damage foliage.  Guests can also throw cereal, birdseed, or grass seed.  Cereal is biodegradable and won’t harm birds or other small animals who eat it.  Birdseed is also biodegradable and harmless.  If there is a nearby lawn, grass seed is especially nice because it will only make the world greener.  Instead of throwing something at the couple, the guests can ring bells as the couple exits the church.  To avoid disrupting the ceremony with premature bell ringing, the bells should be distributed to the guests after the ceremony before they exit the church.  You can include a note on the program advising guest to collect their bells after the ceremony.  Alternatively, guests may be instructed to applaud and whistle as the couple exits the church.

If you do decide to have rice, confetti, or rose petals thrown at you, make sure you hire someone to clean up afterwards.  It’s the responsible thing to do.

Recently, there has been a trend of releasing butterflies as the couple exits the ceremony site.  It is being marketed as an environmentally friendly alternative to throwing rice, confetti, or rose petals.  Arguments can be made for and against this practice.  It is a beautiful sight, like flying flowers or stained glass, but some vegans oppose using living creatures as entertainment.