Like a mirage in the middle of the fashion desert, we may by chance wander into  a store which actually does carry something over a size ten, only to realize in the change room that their version of a size fourteen and our version is vastly different.

The truth is that despite the surge of plus sized clothes on the market, us plus sized fashion divas can still feel left out of the loop.  What is my thought?  We should prove to the fashion industry that we can look sexy too.

Let’s face it?  Who doesn’t want to be a Marilyn in a sea of Hilton’s?  As my body image goes up and down, so does my self-esteem. I have learned to be beautiful, despite the media telling me that beauty is only reserved for the size six and under crowd.  Now it’s our turn and girls…we have the power to be as sexy as any other woman around.  It’s all in the attitude, and in the way we wear our clothes.

First and foremost, a plus sized fashion diva simply can’t sport her new look without a little help from beneath.  One of the biggest mistakes us fashionistas make is not having the proper supportive garments beneath our clothes.  If you haven’t had a bra fitted, do yourself a favor and have it done. 

With the miracle of body smoothers, all of those annoying little lumps and bumps that at one time looked obvious under our clothes, now disappear like magic making you look pounds thinner.  I recommend having a body slimmer in both a neutral and black color for use under all of your outfits.  Spanx Hosiery makes great body smoothers, and are sold in most department stores.   Of course, every girl wants to feel sexy sometimes, and a gorgeous lace up corset will give you the support, and the look.  Pair it with a matching garter, and prepare yourself for an evening of hot romance.

Next in importance, we must consider body shape and clothing structure.  Remember that the better fitting the clothes, the more flattering the outfit.   Stay away from boxy shapes, or anything that does not define the waist.  If you are an apple shape, you can beautifully sport empire tops and dresses with dark leggings and heels, where pear shapes must keep the waist defined, using a lighter color on the top to balance the frame and train the eye to the smallest part of you.

Darker, wide leg trousers and pencil skirts will make your peaches appear tiny, and plunging necklines in bold shades will make you look alluring and sexy.  Remember that wearing anything that is too loose or too tight will only emphasize your flaws and make you look larger. Do yourself a favor by throwing out old shapeless clothing and make some space in that walk-in for some chic, body flattering threads.

So here’s how to find a bra that fits, and how to get your money’s worth out of it.

Image via Wikipedia

The Fit

At home, measure your rib cage where the bottom of your breasts meet your chest by circling a cloth tapemeasure completely around.  Make sure the tape is level around all sides and that the breasts are not under the tape measure.  It may be helpful to have someone help you out with this.  Write down your measurement.  Next, measure the fullest part of the breast by the same method.  (Hint: this is usually the nipple area.)  If your breasts sag, wear a thin bra for this measurement.  Record the measurement.

The first number is your band size.  For example, if you measure 36 inches around then you should look for a 36 inch bra.  If you measure 37 inches, go up to a 38.  Determining the cup size involves a little math:  subtract the second measurement from the first adjusted measurement.  For example, our lady who measured 37 inches would subtract her first measurement from 38.  Each cup is an inch:  An A cup is a 1″ difference, a B cup is a 2″ difference, a C cup is a 3″ difference, and so forth.

One final note about measurements:  if the band feels too loose or too snug after 3-4 bras of the same size, go up or down a band size.  If you find a different band size works, you may need to recalculate your cup size as well.  Just do the math again with the new band number.

At the Store

Now that you have your size, it’s time to hit the stores.  We’re going to look at four areas of fit:  the hooks and band, the center gore, the straps, and the cups.  First, look for a bra with a band that doesn’t ride up in the back on the outer most hook.  If the bra rides up in the back, it is not going to support you at all.  Once you find a bra that has a snug fitting band, look directly down.  See that little bit of fabric between the cups?  That’s called the center gore.  It needs to be in direct contact with the skin between your breasts.  If it sticks out or puckers open, find another bra.  Next, adjust the straps so that they’re comfortable but supportive.  (And if you found a bra with a good fitting band, you won’t have to worry about the straps digging in.)  Avoid buying a bra where you have to make the straps extremely short in order to work.  Finally, look at your profile in the mirror.  If your breasts are spilling out from the cups so much that it looks like you have four boobs, find a different bra.  You may need to go up a cup size.  If you find that the cups are partially empty, go down a cup size.

This may take a while, and you may have to try on several bras.  I know, it’s frustrating and I hate it just as much as the next girl.  What you want is a firm fitting bra that isn’t painful or uncomfortable.  It may feel strange at first, but it shouldn’t hurt.

Once you find the bra that fits, buy two to four in a color that matches your skin tone.  The hard part is over!

Taking Care of Your Bra

Now that your bras are home, you’ll want to wear them as long as possible because bras are expensive.  Hopefully you found a bra that worked on the outer most hooks and with minimal strap shortening, because this is the secret to bras your mother never told you about.  As they get older and lose their spring, you move in a notch and tork the straps a bit up.

You’ll want to handwash your bra after each wearing, regardless of how sweaty you get.  Have you ever noticed how jeans are looser on the second day of wearing them?  Well, the same thing happens to your bra.  When you wash it, the bra rebounds into its original shape as it dries and provides better support the next time you wear it.  It only takes 3 minutes to wash a bra by hand, so just add this small step to your night time routine.  Hang the bra to air dry, and you’re ready to go.  Oh, and that’s why I told you to buy 2 to 4 bras, because no bra will completely airdry overnight.

You can wash your bras in the machine if you absolutely must, but use a bag designed for delicates and don’t use any fabric softener, as this will spring the elastic.  Never ever put a bra through the dryer.

If you have any questions, leave a comment and I will answer it ASAP.

So what can you do to ensure you’re a hit at the school gates? Here are our top five suggestions to make friends with other mums and ensure a lively social life for your child without breaking the bank.

1. Make an effort at the beginning

   Even if you’re not the most fashionable mum in the world, make an effort with your appearance for your child’s first week at school. Plain black shoes are always a winner, and wearing a dash of make-up and perfume really shows you’ve made an effort. You might strike up a conversation about what you’re wearing, and you’ll feel a lot more confident if you feel that you’re looking good.

2. Keep a smile on your face

   As a mum, you can’t be expected to look 100% all the time, even if you make a perfect impression in those first few days. But even if you’re having an unstylish day, don’t let it ruin your reputation. Keep a sunny smile on your face, talk to other mums as normal, and try to get in and out quickly. Tomorrow’s another day – just try not to let this happen too often!

3. Take emergency supplies

   Especially in Britain, weather is ridiculously hard to predict. Your children might be more than happy to splash about in puddles getting drenched, but if you’ve spent time on your appearance that day, getting soaked through first thing can be a real downer. If rain is forecast, take an umbrella and wear closed-in shoes to avoid any drowned-rat fashion when you arrive at the school gates.

4. Compliment other mums

   You’re not the only mum reading this article, and you’re not the only mum who’ll be making an effort to look good! So if you see somebody who has clearly tried hard, make sure you tell them you’ve noticed they look good. You’ll make someone’s day and perhaps even make a new friend.

5. Avoid certain items

   Trainers, tracksuits, men’s clothes, hoodies, leather and any clothes that are too small or emphasise the flabbier bits of your body should be avoided at all costs. These kinds of fashion faux pas will not be easily forgotten!

Starting at the top, shop for tees or shirts that draw the eye upward. You can do this with a slightly lower neckline or with tee or shirt that has its design along the shoulder and neckline. To balance your narrow hips with your larger top, buy shirts that are long, stopping at the widest part of your hips. Empire waist shirts also work because they draw attention to your upper body and away from your middle.

Wear a see through shirt over a properly fitting sleeveless top. The see through shirt and sleeveless top will draw attention to your slim arms.

Use pants to help create a more balanced look. Tight, skinny pants are not for you. Instead look for wide legged pants. Do you have slim legs and ankles? Go for wide legged capris.

Look for skirts that have a wide A-line look. A-line broomstick skirts work well also. Wear them at your natural waistline. The fullness of the skirt will hide your heavier midsection. Just make sure that the skirt fits properly and it doesn’t pull over your middle. Add a sleeveless, tunic top and you’ve got a smashing outfit. Oh..and miniskirts with this body type are a definite no.

Finish off your look with the right shoe. Take advantage of your slim legs with a heeled, strappy sandal. Or wear a heavier style shoe to balance against your heavier upper half.

Shopping carefully for your body type will allow you to be a real fashion plus.

1. Go Trendy

   

   Instead of trying to get a whole new wardrobe, spruce up what you have by getting cheap trendy accessories. Try going to Target,  Forever 21 or Icing and get a couple of long necklaces  and braclets with large plastic beads. Go to Payless and grab some ballet flats or peep-toe pumps. You might even try getting an inexpensive trendy bag to pull your look together. By pairing your cheapo jeans and tee-shirts with trendy accessories, you will look like you’re actually being stylishly casual instead of just looking casually poor.

2. Grab a Jacket

   

   Why not get a shortsleeved sport coat or jean jacket. I got the one below from target and it’s perfect for business or the classroom. You can pair it with a cheapo tank top and look just as professional as the next girl/guy.

3. Spring for Slacks

   Nothing says business casual like slacks. I reccomend going to Ross, Marshalls or Wal-mart and getting slacks one size larger than your normal size. Then pre-wash, try them on, and bust out your sewing machine to slim down the legs. Turn the pants inside out, sew a half inch away from leg seam and turn the right side out again. Now your bargain slacks look like  you’ve spent the big bucks getting them tailor fitted.

4. Go Grunge circa 1990

   

   Plaid is making an unbelievable comeback. Rather than spending 29.95 at Forever 21,  for a plaid tunic, borrow or dust off an old white and grey plaid shirt. Then buy some purple , blue or yellow, dye at the store and imitate this new style. Sew on buttons at the sleeves and fold them back for a trendy new look. I got this one at target.

5. Wrap It Up

   Get a mini-belt and dress up your top, adding an empire waist line.

   

   Scarves and shoulder wraps are also great way to sport your style prowess without buying a new outfit. You can pair a bright interesting scarf with a drab outfit or grab an airy beaded wrap to beat the air conditioning. Learn to knit or crochet on youtube and make your own scarves and wraps for a fraction of the store cost.

Overall, you can save big bucks by pairing trendy pieces with last year’s clothes and become known for your casually chic style.

Black dresses can be worn almost anywhere. To work, to formal parties or maybe even to clubs depending on the cut of the dress.

High heels

High heels like black dresses can be worn for sexy occasions or to work. There are thousands of styles to choose from to compliment any outfit you wear.

Boots

Again, boots can express multiple sides of your personality. Before I make this article about shoes, know that choosing risky shoes such as heels or boots set you apart in ANY situation.

Jeans That Fit Well

Jeans are probably the most worn item of clothing EVER. Every girl should figure out what looks best on their body (skinny, flared, straight etc) and invest on a few good pairs.

Great Underwear

Every woman should invest in good bras and underwear. This is almost as important as what you let people see on the outside. It makes you feel sexy and confident, which is very important!

Hopefully every woman experiments and has both the basics but also throws in extra jewelary or patterns or cuts to showcase their own style.

Red – Strength, power, confidence, passion

Red is a versatile color that can symbolize everything from passionate love to violent warfare and conflict. Red displays both psychological and physical influences. Studies have shown that seeing the color red can speed up breathing and heart rate because it can be a tense and aggressive color.

It’s a dynamic and dramatic hue that gathers attention and can be overwhelming in professional settings, especially in a job interview. It wouldn’t be very wise to wear it in situations where conflict might easily arise. To tone it down, pair it with muted hues: a red and blue striped sweater, for example, or a red camisole under a gray jacket.

Gray- Seriousness, dependability, stability

Gray gets its basis from Mother Nature. In the outdoors, everything gray is permanent such as gravel, rocks, and stone.

Wear a gray suit to a job interview to show your future boss that you’re responsible. *But dress in it from head to toe and you might be telling the world you’re boring because gray is a very practical color. To stand out, pair a gray suit with something memorable, such as a printed blouse. A pair of heels or sparkly earrings is also well suited to balance out.

Pink - Love, affection, gentleness, femininity

Pink is soft and delicate, however it lacks passion. It may also have a calming, soothing effect.

Pink lacks the flagrant sensuality that bolder colors such as red convey. Charming and warm, soft pink is the perfect color for a romantic date.

Blue – Faithfulness, tranquility, dependability, sensitivity

Blue implies stability because it’s the color of the sky. In a way, it’s eternal and fixed. Even if the sky happens to be gray or overcast, we know that eventually, it will return to its state of blue again.

How to wear it: Darker hues are ideal for formal events. Navy is also a very powerful color, while lighter shades work better in more casual settings.

Yellow – Youth, joy, imagination

Yellow has shown to improve concentration, which explains the Post-It notes. It’s also the color of friendship.

Many people are afraid to use yellow because they deemed it as being too bright. But remember that yellow comes in many forms and to a degree; from pale pastels to deep, vibrant hues. If you’re uncomfortable with it, pair it with items you already love. Try a yellow tee with your favorite pair of jeans.

Green – Tranquility, growth, health, “good luck”

Green invokes lush images of nature – from tropical forests to parks on spring days. It’s the color of life and growth, and a symbol of fertility. Green is also considered to be a safe color. So if you’re uncertain as to which color to use, choose green because it establishes a sense of order and balance. In some cultures, green is considered to be the color of good fortune, such as the four-leaf clover. However, you’ll find that colors will very rarely have such direct influences on luck.

Jewel tones are best for dates and evenings. Switch to softer, pastel shades for daytime. A light tone of green is soothing for the eye too.

Black – Elegance, sophistication, power

Traditionally, black has a bad reputation. It’s the required color for movie villains and comic book criminals. It also deals with mourning, death, darkness, and fear. But it is also classic and universally slimming.

Many people wear black to formal gatherings and parties. You may seem a bit discontent being one little dot in a sea of black dresses. But you can look at it as an opportunity to accessorize. Wear purple eye shadow and an amethyst necklace with a black blouse.

When it comes to choosing colors, let your instincts guide you. Choose what works with your skin tones and what you feel comfortable wearing. But don’t be afraid to experiment and try new and different shades. Being around colors you feel comfortable with will definitely brighten your day.

Keep reading: Your Choice of Colors Sends a Message: Part 2

Images via Flickr’s Creative Commons Pool, Photbucket, and Smugmug

Sources

Faber, Birren. Color Psychology and Color Therapy: A Factual Study of the Influence of Color on Human Life. New Hyde Park: University Books, 1992.

Mi-Na is wearing an undergarment worn underneath the hanbok called sok chima. They are similar to petticoats and are sometimes layered to help give the woman’s hanbok a fuller look.

Here is Mi-Na dressed in full regalia. She is wearing the jeogori (in blue) with a goreum (in green) – coat strings attached to the breast part to tie the jeogori closed. The git (in dark blue) is the band of fabric that trims the collar with matching kkeutdong – cuffs placed at the end of the sleeves. Dongjeong or dongchong are detachable white collars placed over the end of the git to help accentuate the neckline. Her white sok chima is visible below in the breast area. The chima (in greenish yellow) is long and flowing. On her head she is wearing a gache – an elaborate wig. It is held up by a binyeo – a rod-like hairpin fastened in the back. Decorating the gache are various dwikkoji – hairpins to accessorize knotted hair.

Here is Mi-Na in another variation of the hanbok with a bright red chima. The jeogori has a floral print on it. Tied underneath her jeogori is a norigae pendant (the tasseled accessory), giving the hanbok a luxurious look. Norigae is a type of Korean macrame, popular among unmarried girls and wives alike. In traditional times, a woman showed her devotion and love to her family with her skill in embroidery and sewing.

Here Mi-Na is sporting a more clean-cut look. Her hair is simply coiffed with a binyeo in a braided bun. Her jeogori and chima are made out of sheer material – making her sok chima visible underneath – giving her hanbok a delicate look.

Here Mi-Na is wearing a sok chima that matches her outer chima, both red. Her simpler hairstyle is accented by several dwikkoji as well as the binyeo – simply exquisite.

In this image Mi-Na hair is unadorned, her bangs framing her face. Her whole hanbok is different colored, from her jeogori in lavender, the git and kkeutdong in blue, the goreum in red, and the chima in pink – very pretty.

Hanbok is made out several different materials and fabrics, depending on the weather, such as satin, silk, ramie, cotton muslin and hemp. In cooler temperatures, the hanbok were made out of heavier fabrics lined with fur while thinner fabrics were used in the summer so that the natural breeze could help cool the body. Many women would wear hanbok made from gossamer silk in the autumn because it made a rustling sound while walking – similar to walking through dry leaves.

Colors for the hanbok usually consisted of red, yellow, blue, black and white – symbolizing the five traditional elements of Far Eastern cosmology (fire, earth, water, metal and wood). Court figures and the upper class usually wore colored hanbok while commoners wore white representing purity, chastity and integrity. Natural materials such as bark or flowers were used to make the dyes to color the hanbok.

Images from: xuexueyuehua.web.infoseek.co.jp/

Some fashion experts reckon that we wear only 20% of our clothes 80% of the time; therefore 80% of your wardrobe is just hanging there waiting to be worn! With this in mind, I thought I would present a guide on how to go about sorting out your seasonal wardrobe, breathing new life into old clothes, and generally being honest about what you need.

Be Organised

Set aside an afternoon for sorting through your wardrobe, as the last thing you want is to have to stop half way through, leaving piles of clothes strewn around your bedroom! So, plan and organise what you are going to sort through first, whether you’re going to tackle drawers, wardrobe or stored away winter clothes first.

What’s In Your Wardrobe?

Most people will probably only know about 50% of what is actually in their wardrobe, therefore first off take a look at what you’ve got. The best way to do this is by laying out all the clothes in piles; maybe skirts, tops, trousers, etc. Then one by one you can access each item…

Assess

It’s probably impossible to name every item in your wardrobe, but by assessing each garment you’ll get a much better idea. By laying out and assessing each piece, you can ask some truthful questions that will help you to decide if you really need certain items.

• Have I worn this in the past few months/ Did I wear it last winter?
• Does it fit properly- too loose/too tight?
• Is it something I would wear comfortably?
• Do I still feel confident in it?
• Do I still like it?

Be Brutally Honest

Overall, if you’re looking at a piece of clothing and saying “I might wear it”, “it”s a perfectly good suit/dress’, then you have to be really firm with yourself and ask why you haven’t worn it recently. Sometimes it’s hard to accept we’ve made a mistake, but if you’re not going to wear something, then it may as well be in a charity shop, where it has a chance of giving someone else pleasure.

However, if you find it hard to throw things away, you might want to involve a friend/other half who will be firm with you and question whether you really should keep certain items.

Another problem is if your weight and shape has changed in the last year, as old favourites may not fit as well as before. Don’t try to squeeze into things, be honest and use it as an excuse to buy new clothes! Yet, if you intend to loose weight to fit into your Christmas party outfit, you could keep favoured items as an incentive!

Finally, another common mistake is keeping clothes and items that are worn out, have shrunk/lost shape, or have generally lost quality. This can refer to holes in tops, shoes with grinded down heels and thinning material on jeans. Some of these can be kept as house clothes for chilling out in, decorating or gardening etc., and some can be repaired, but if the cost is more than what you would pay for a new one then don’t bother. Just be totally brutal, and if items have come to the end of their life, chuck them away!

The Forgotten

Another benefit to sorting out your hoard of clothes is that you will probably find there are items that you have completely forgotten about. This can be a pleasant surprise and, by adding the right accessories and updating your look, these old favourites can become new again! For example, when sorting out my drawers the other week, I had completely forgotten about a few autumn/winter scarves I had, and I will now be definitely wearing them for all occasions!

Basics

Always ensure you have the beloved basics in your collection. Investing in essential items, such as t-shirts, jumpers and jeans will provide the foundation of your style for years to come!

Dispensing Of Unwanted Items

Work out what you’re going to do with the clothes you’re getting rid of. If you struggle to throw things away, you’ll find it easier if you know they’re going to be passed on to younger family members, or given to a charity shop. Yet, with both, remember to have plenty of bin bags.

The End Result

When you’ve finished making sure you’ve put everything back tidily, think about a system that works for you. If you have very clearly defined work/home clothes, you could separate these into different areas, or you might find it works better to split tops, skirts and trousers. Think about what you’re hanging and what you’re folding, and make sure you can get to everything easily. If your shelves are a towering mess, then you might want to insert extra shelves, so there are fewer items on each one.

Finally…

Once you’ve sorted through your wardrobe, apply the same principles to your shoes/handbags/jewellery. Don’t forget your coats and jackets, and also make sure you go through your underwear, as holes in your pants aren’t a good look!

Be aware of the dress code

Before taking part in dress down day at your office, make sure you’re aware of the dress code. Ask the office manager or person in charge for a copy of the dress requirements for casual days so you can be sure you’re choosing appropriate attire.

Don’t go overboard with casual

Just because dress down days are more relaxed and less structured doesn’t mean you should pull out your flip flops and tank tops. There’s still a certain level of decorum required in an office setting and beachwear doesn’t qualify. A more appropriate choice would be to wear a short sleeve knit top and a casual pair of pants with dressier sandals. You’ll still be comfortable but won’t be advertising yourself as a beach bum.

Avoid workout clothes

Dress down Fridays aren’t the day to wear spandex pants and a workout top to work. Even if you have a designer warm-up suit in a dark color, it will probably still look too casual for most office settings. If it’s something you’d work out in, save it for the gym.

Don’t show too much skin

Casual doesn’t mean more revealing. Resist the urge to put on low cut summer tops, shorts, or revealing sun dresses. Likewise, stretch clothing that hugs the body too tightly should be avoided even on dress down days. These fashions aren’t appropriate for any office environment if you want to be taken seriously.

Don’t dress like you’re going out for the evening

Some well meaning office employees use dress down days to show off the evening clothing they don’t get a chance to wear to work. Stay away from shiny, metallic fabrics and anything with glitter or sequins on it. These are best left for the yearly Christmas party.

Choose casual, but stylish

When choosing casual clothes for dress down days, wear knits or high quality t-shirts paired with casual pants in a neutral shade. To give a more stylish, yet professional look, add an interesting belt, a scarf, or a statement making necklace. Trade the high heels for a heel that’s more moderate in height. By keeping your clothing lines simple and your colors neutral, you’ll have a professional air but will still feel comfortable.

Should you wear jeans on a dress down day? If your office dress code allows jeans, choose ones that are dark and in good shape without holes, embellishments, or areas of fading. Make sure that whatever you wear is clean and ironed. Casual shouldn’t mean unkempt.

Keep in mind that even if it’s a casual, dress down day, people are still forming opinions about your capabilities, sense of judgment, and taste. Be casual but don’t go overboard if you want to form the right impression.