Rapunzel Culture: Why Do Men Like Long Hair?
May 6, 2009 by Life Plots
Published in Hair
Think of the words “hot girl”. You probably picture a girl with long hair. But why?
First of all, men aren’t the only ones who tend to prefer long hair. Women can as well. I feel more like a woman, and happier with myself, when my hair is long, healthy and shiny. In high school, after I got into college and made some serious life changes, I cut my hair. And not only did I cut it, but I cut it short, to my chin, and dyed it strawberry blonde. Might I add that before, my hair was bra-strap length and dark reddish brown. It was a drastic change, which was what I was going for. But I wasn’t happy with it after a few weeks.
A girl in my class had warned me, “You will no longer feel sexy with short hair.” She had cut her hair boy-short and she lamented that although it was fun to play with, she had a hard time feeling like a real woman. But I kept telling myself it was the right choice. Because more than anything, I wanted a change. I wasn’t even thinking of looking good.
When I first came out of the hairdresser, I was thrilled. It had taken four hours to cut my hair, remove the previous dark dye, and then lighten it about four shades. The change was exhiliarating, and for the first few weeks I was thrilled with how different and mature I looked. People had a hard time recognizing me. Even my best friends had a hard time recognizing me at first. But then, after the initial shock, I realized one thing: I may have looked different, but I also looked worse. My hair was starting to resemble that of a soccer mom. As it grew an inch or two, it began looking like Carol Henderson’s in the Brady Bunch, except brassy and orange, so I tried my hardest to pin parts of it back and keep it modern. I dyed it brown again to get rid of the harsh color and was impatient in terms of waiting for it to grow back.
It took me two years to grow my hair back. Every day, I regretted my unfortunate choice of cutting my hair so short. Even though women constantly told me I looked more unique, I felt less feminine, less attractive, and less like myself. Now, one could argue that I’m just a “long hair girl”…which I am. I prefer long hair on myself and on most other people, except for some girls who pull of short hair perfectly. But in today’s society, long hair seems to be a “must”, especially in America. I have never seen a Victoria’s Secret model with short hair. Getting such a drastic haircut, to me, felt like wearing a “breast minimizing” bra without having huge knockers in the first place. I felt like I had sabotaged my own femininity. The initial thrill of being able to shake my head and feel the ends of my hair on my neck got old. I felt like a mopheaded twelve-year-old boy. It didn’t help that my good friend seriously recommended I get breast implants. Thanks.
So why do we feel so insecure without long hair? Of course, some girls I know have chosen to shave their heads entirely, but those girls are usually part of an alternative subculture in which the more unique your look is, the better it is, even if it doesn’t “look good”. A girl in my high school shaved her head and even though I would never have done it, it worked with her slender frame and pixie-like features and made her look sexier than she did when she had long hair. But I wasn’t so alternative…I needed something to hold onto. I needed my long hair.
All over the Internet, women ask questions about whether men prefer long or short hair. Rarely will a guy say he prefers short hair (although it does happen). The women, who probably have short hair (because if they had long hair, they wouldn’t be so worried about it), beg for a reason why. And the men can’t explain it.
Well, I could give it a shot. For one, long hair symbolizes health and fertility. Since I started eating healthier and working out, my hair has been in better condition, and it has been growing faster. However, these days with heat styling and hair coloring, damaged or short hair doesn’t mean a woman is in bad health. Still, it’s an instinct for men to gravitate towards signs of youth and vitality. The same goes for healthy skin and toned muscles.
These days, I believe short hair can actually look healthier than long hair. When I had short hair, I didn’t have any tangles or split ends because my hair was younger and healthier. But as hair gets longer, the ends get older and older. So while long hair tends to look less healthy than short hair, having long hair still symbolizes good health.
It’s a shame that the Rapunzel culture does idolize long hair so much. Girls go to great extents to grow their hair long, even though many women, even in the media, have shown that it can be sexier than long hair. For example, Halle Berry, Katie Holmes, and Mia Farrow in Rosemary’s Baby all make short hair look hot. But the fact remains that the vast majority of attractive celebrities in the media promote the idea that long hair is the best way to go, no matter who you are. Women with long hair are glorified in America. In other countries, like France, short hair is considered just as feminine. Think about it–in the 1920s, long hair was obsolete and Victorian, and a short bob was considered sexy and modern. So while the preference for long hair can be instinctual, it is also socially constructed. In a culture where short hair is considered more feminine, men might gravitate more towards short hair too.
Of course, I am generalizing. I have known guys who think short hair is a million times sexier than long hair. I was once talking to a guy friend at a party when a girl with spiky, boy-short hair walked by. He told me, “Now that is sexy.” He was an artistic type, and he preferred that edgy look. So there will always be guys who love short hair.
If you are wondering whether or not to cut your hair short, I am not here to condemn the idea. I think some women look fabulous with short hair, as I’ve already made clear. But you need to be comfortable enough with yourself to pull it off. These days, as I get older and like myself more, I would be more likely to feel comfortable with short hair. If you are already insecure, going short is the wrong idea. I think short hair on a woman can be very sexy, but as my friend said two years ago, it can easily cause an decrease in your self-esteem if it was already low. You need to be comfortable enough with yourself to counteract Rapunzel culture.
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May 9th, 2009 at 7:28 am
Its a fact that some women look good with short hair some don’t. Attitude and confidence is just as important in whether a woman can model short hair as sexy as opposed to having it be perceived as manish. It’s sad to me that so many ladies bow the common culture of only long hair can be sexy. Incidentally I’m a guy whose just as attracted to confident stylish women with short hair.
May 9th, 2009 at 9:44 am
It’s true! So many women with short hair who pull it off are the same women with booming confidence. And I agree it’s too bad we don’t see that more often, because variety is the spice of life.
May 9th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
I had long hair since the time I was allowed to make my own decisions about how I cut my hair; it was a rebellion against my parents who always encouraged me to keep it short. Then, a couple years ago, I decided to chop it all off because I was tired of taking care of it and I needed a change. Now, I’ve never had high self-esteem and I was hesitant about doing this because I had no idea what I’d look like without my hair to hide behind. Since then, however, I’ve never looked back, never regretted that decision. In fact, since that initial chop, it’s gotten progressively shorter. While I think you’re completely correct in the stereotypes that exist about long hair, I think you’re making an incorrect generalization when you say not to go short if you’re insecure. Perhaps I’m the exception to the rule, but I feel more like I’m in my own skin with short hair than I ever did with long hair, and I’m about as insecure of an individual as you can find. Instead of making me more insecure, cutting my hair short made me feel MORE secure. At the same time, some people really just can’t pull it off. Furthermore, every guy I’ve ever been with has commented that they like that I keep my hair short, that it suits me far better than long hair and that I should never grow my hair out.
Incidentally, another thing to consider is that many women who make a quick change from long hair to short do so in reaction to a major life change, such as breaking up with a long-term boyfriend, changing locale, or quitting a job. The sharp change is often a physical manifestation of the other changes happening in the woman’s life. Short hair is often associated with independence, freedom, and confidence; perhaps it says something about American culture that we prefer hair that implies docility, obedience, and sexual objectification. Sorry for the long comment, but I just felt like giving you some more thoughts beyond your own personal experience to ponder.
May 9th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
I have never heard of anyone in your situation, but it’s very interesting to hear about! First of all, it’s clear you are someone who probably looks the best with short hair. Some people just do. And as for making you more secure, you are one of the people who probably doesn’t subscribe to society’s stifling stereotypes, and I think that’s really great. I should have mentioned perhaps, that a drastic change to dramatically change your looks can also give people a sense of identity and make them feel proud to stand out. I dyed my hair red for that reason, but for some reason cutting it short didn’t do it for me. And yes, when I cut my hair senior year of high school it was also because of a “breakup”, but in the long run it was so inconsequential that I didn’t think it needed to be mentioned. And don’t worry about the long comment. It was very insightful and I am always looking for ways to improve!
September 14th, 2009 at 11:18 am
I think is completely true everything written here.
Long hair, yes is sexy, short hair also. But it is not just about the hair, think of Halle Berry for instance, she has a great body and a beautiful face, and enough money to care about it. With short hair I used to felt kind of naked, like if people look at other parts of your body. But i really like it after a while.
Short hair also needs a lot of time and care, of curse is healthier because is younger, but it needs to be cut every 4 weeks maybe to keep the style.
Also people use to think that short hair is more modern and extreme… (well both my grandmas had really short hair… so i consider this a cliché ) and on the other hand you can also have long hair with a really modern crazy edgy style.
It only depends on every women.
I personally cut it short, a bob, when i was around 15 and never let it grow longer than my shoulders, now i am almost 27, and really want to have that feeling of really long woman hair. Also because my attitude in life has changed, I feel more like a grown-up woman now, and not like a cute girl.
Just want to end saying that I think stereotypes and cannons should not exist anymore in our heads, and that everybody should find the way to FEEL beautiful, it will be reflected to the others!
November 25th, 2009 at 10:23 am
I am a guy.. I hate short hair on a woman. It is very rare that I will find a short haired woman attractive. The #1 thing that attracts me to a woman as far as looks is looong hair (brown shades being my favorite). Nothing sexier than kissing a woman with long hair and feeling it in your hand as you hold the back of her head.. and by long hair I mean mid-back and longer…
December 27th, 2009 at 8:09 am
I cut my hair to my chin less than two years ago for Locks of Love. I don’t regret my decision. When I had my short hair, I was told it was cute and silly, that I looked younger. I liked that. With my current length, I truly feel like a woman, since I’m not exactly the largest chested woman out there and I’m quite slim, my long hair provides SOMETHING for me to feel womanly about. Back then, when I cut my hair, I do NOT regret it, because it was the right thing to do, I really needed it. It wasn’t even planned, I just did a sporadic change, but I believe it was a smart choice. Growing it back has been a pain in the ass, but a very enlightening experience. I was VERY attached to my hair back then, and cut it off. It made me feel like I was defying the norm for society and I liked it. Now, for my age group, I’m not the norm. My hair is longer than any of my friends’. As far as cutting it now, I’d never do that. Cutting your hair short is a decision that you want to think about. If you tend to be a clingy type person, it may not be the best decision. If you’re a carefree sporadic person, go for it! That is if you want to…
December 28th, 2009 at 2:31 am
Wow i read so much opinions, and I want to cut my hair, but i dont want to be looked at as unattractive or manish to other people. I’ve decided to try something new so Im going to go for it, i do feel that men do prefer longer hair ( like my boy friend), but i also feel that beauty is only skin deep.
December 31st, 2009 at 1:16 am
my best friend had hair that was a rich natural orange color and it had never been cut in her life. it was down to her thighs and it just looked weird im sorry to say. then she cut it to her SHOULDERS after having so long. she also dyed it a more blonde hir color and she looks absolutely gorgeous with it. a million times better. shes the type of person who need short hair. it looked sexy and modern but then she started putting more dyes in it and she permd it and it looked just…unhealthy. she said that it was the worst mistake for her hair. so she grew it out and when it was short and healthy guys just drifted toward her. when it was short and UNhealthy they didnt hang around so much so when it grew out about to her mid back it started looking better and the guys started coming back. so long or short i think they just like it soft, silky, and healthy.
January 26th, 2010 at 8:13 pm
Good blog!
Personally, I\’ve always kept my hair long throughout adulthood, except for two times where I decided to chop it all off. The first time, I looked like an akward 15 y/o boy. The second time, I looked like a soccer mom. I\’m neither of those things, and these short hairstyles made me extremely insecure. My mom and my sister can both pull off short hair effortlessly and are always nagging me to try short hair \”one more time\”, because maybe this time I\’ll get the right cut. No, I don\’t want another 3 years (my hair grows SLOW, no matter how healty I am or what I use) of low self esteem and regret. With long hair, I can be fun and sexy, or serious and professional depending on how I style it. I\’m keeping my locks! Bra-strap lenght now, after 5 years growing it out. YAY!