Courageously Learning How to Trust Again

June 2, 2012 by Kharla Jolly  
Published in Beauty

This article is about learning to trust, after lifes circumstances took it away from you.

After living in this world for a while, it’s easy to lean towards being down right distrustful. No matter where you go or what you become involved with, it is usually very wise, to keep one eye watching over your shoulder. Because if you don’t, getting stung is all too common. After this has unexpectedly happened, then repeated itself over and over again through the years, it’s almost inevitable, this person will become overly defensive and distrustful.

At the age of eighteen, I married the first young man who swept me off my feet, saying all the right words that I wanted to hear. We entered into holy matrimony, two children who had no idea what it meant to make a life-long commitment. Ten years and two kids later, my husband made a shocking announcement, that pretty much floored me. He announced that being married wasn’t quite what he had expected it to be. My mate, along with three other of his buddies, decided that they all┬átied the knot, at way too young an age. They had decided to get a divorce and start dating for a while. ‘And, who knows what the future may hold for us? Some day, maybe he and I would fall in love a second time and get hitched up, all over again!’ Was this hair-brained remark suppose to soften the blow and┬ámake this easier to accept?

I felt nauseated, like I was gonna throw up, then realized this was because my heart had just dropped into my stomach. Emotional pain was gripping and gnawing on my insides, without any mercy at all. This made death look like a place of relief, from the unbearable hurt that I was being forced to endure.

What ever happened to all those ‘repeat after me’ promises we had made to each other, at the altar of a church? Were those just a bunch of words we said, to get it over with and to make our relationship legal? The man who made all these touching vows to me, was about to walk out the front door and leave me with two little kids, to raise alone. He was robbing me of the family bond I thought we had established together! I felt like ‘life’s rug’ was being jerked out from under my feet.

After many years have passed, time has definitely brought about a lot of healing. But, the very hardest lesson has been, learning how to trust again. If we are constantly looking for hidden motives in every dark corner of life, the one who gets hurt by this the most, is ‘SELF’. Reality is, not everyone is out to get us, nor does everyone have an evil motive behind the things they say or do. ‘TRUSTING’ is just like learning how to walk, all over again. You just have to put one foot forward, then pick the other foot up and put it down systematically, in front of the other one. Keep this up and soon you will be able to run!

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5 Responses to “Courageously Learning How to Trust Again”
  1. momofplenty Says:

    You are a great writer, i could feel the pain of your husband leaving …. Moving on and learning to trust does take time but is possible. One mans mistake is not every mans mistake.

  2. Lisa Marie Mottert Says:

    Sorry, this happened to you, and I feel your pain. Your belief in God will carry you through. I know what hardships in life can do. You can trust again, and in time you will.
    Keep writing, your answers will be revealed. God Bless you.

  3. lauralu Says:

    Great Heartfelt share I am so glad your life is happy now with a wonderful Husband PTL

  4. sabanawaz Says:

    You are so right , without trust a relationship is like a house built on sand. Great
    God Bless you.

  5. Safa Says:

    Glad you regained your confidence…It’s hard to live without trust..Thanks for a great share

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